Hey - I like that.

Two things I discovered this week that I really like.

1. Cactus. The FTC went to Rancho Market for lunch this week and Meghan and I ordered this dish that consists of chicken, beef, shrimp, jalapenos, onions and Mexican cheese cooked and soaking in a cheesy sauce with more peppers. It's spicy. It comes out still cooking in the stoneware they serve it in. It's served with beans and rice and you build it into a tortilla - "like a fajita - but better," as Meghan described it. It was fabulous. It cost some $20, but there's enough food to feed four... and yes, I had my leftovers for dinner tonight and it was delicious. I was most surprised about like the cactus. I'd never had cactus before... It is soooo yummy.

2. Justified. "Timothy Olyphant stars as Marshal Raylan Givens, a modern-day lawman with a 19th-century attitude. Based on an Elmore Leonard character, Givens employs a brash brand of justice that makes him a target of criminals, so his marshal superiors relocate him to his hometown. Nick Searcy (CSI) co-stars as Givens' friend and boss. Look for Walton Goggins (The Shield) and Natalie Zea (Dirty Sexy Money) in prominent guest spots. " - TVGuide

It's a new show on FX about a US Marshal stationed in Kentucky. I like it because Raylan is from Kentucky. They flash parts of Lexington. There are all sorts of Kentucky hicks. But the show takes you other places. Raylan is a smart-a. And while he is the law, he banters and jokes with the bad guys. Right before he shoots them. There's no romance. There's a lot of shooting (Raylan aims for the heart, and doesn't think twice about shooting.) So far out of 4 episodes, he's managed to kill someone, or quite a few someones, in every one of them. Maybe it's his accent. Or his wit. Or even his hat. But Raylan Givens is sexy. Oh, that might be why I watch it? I don't rightly know. It's on Tuesday nights, but I just watch it on hulu.com.

Why I am prejudiced against SKINNY guys...

They make me feel like this.

I am Biased (offensive)

Considering the timing of several very cute arrivals to some of the coolest people I know... this blog post could offend some people. Don't let it. I am posting this on my blog but I am not necessarily posting about you. Most of my friends/family are pretty good about not annoying me with their kids. It's just random people, friends of friends, etc.that really annoy me. (But if you see yourself doing these things... maybe, tone it down a bit???)

So... it's official. I hate parents (not mine, of course). I hate the new moms that post on their Facebook every "cute" thing their baby does, how much their head circumference is, whether or not they've gone #2 today or not, and how just perfect, awesome, amazing, incredible, etc. their baby is.

I hate waiting for two or three moms all pushing their baby strollers across the street in the morning. (This is an irrational irritation... so if you do this, don't feel bad. I understand you want company while taking your child for a walk. It still bugs me though.)

I hate blogs that are ONLY about the baby and say everything the Facebook statuses say only much WORDIER. Trust me, every kid learns how to say, "da" and "ba." It is also part of human development to learn how to crawl, pull yourself up, eat with a fork and stack blocks. We all did it as children. Our grandparents did it. Cain and Abel did it. Your baby is not really that special because at 5 months he learned to crawl. Turns out most babies learn to crawl at 5 months. If it were 2 months, when he's barely begun to hold his head up but still managing to crawl... well then, that is pretty spectacular. One could say that I should stop reading the blogs (or block the Facebookers) but I continue to read on the off-chance that you will post about something else in your life. Because I'm still interested in what is going on in your life, even if you've turned completely lame since having a baby.

I hate moms that refuse to get a babysitter because they don't TRUST anyone to watch their baby (or are too cheap to get a babysitter) or are offended because you don't want their little tyke coming to the opera with you (I don't go to the opera, but you understand my meaning, I think...)

I hate the moms that are so consumed with worrying about germs reaching their baby. Hello. It's called an immune system. Your baby will die if it doesn't learn how to fight a little bit of germs.

Has anyone noticed that parents have the grossest conversations, ever? And they put it on the web, even though it should be private information. Your nips are chapped? No one needs to know that. Your baby is constipated? Wow, who cares? Normal people don't walk around complaining that their uterus feels like it is about to erupt or that they are so gassy or have the runs so bad they've had to change their pants twice today. Ok - I do know some people like that. But really, they don't post it online, which is one of the most public places ever these days. There are some things that really should just be kept to themselves.

Of course, none of this applies to my sister, Amy. Because I can't get enough of Kelsie stories. I would sit on the phone and listen to her talk and scream and cry the whole day. I can't get enough pictures of her. I look through them 100x a week. Kelsie actually is the cutest, smartest, most advanced baby I've ever seen. I don't want to know if she throws up or poops - but if that's the only story you got for me, go ahead and give it to me! (Maybe not....I'm just trying to prove a point.)

Also, Amy is probably one of the more normal moms I've ever met. (Except the whole fear of flying to Florida...............) She tries to stop Kelsie from eating the dog food, but you know, isn't ridiculous about it. She doesn't mind if someone, like a little kid, wants to talk to Kelsie. She'll let her run around and play. She'll get a babysitter (granted, usually my mom or Mackenzie) when she needs to. She's not afraid of germ, of Kelsie dying spontaneously. She's fairly laid-back. Much like my mom was when Brad and Mackenzie were babies.

When all is said and done, babies are funny creatures. They are so dependent. They are terribly easy to make fun of. If you aren't making fun of your kid, then you aren't doing something right. Lighten up and laugh a bit. And do try to remember to retain your personality. You've had a kid. You aren't brain damaged.

All of this just goes to prove that I am extremely biased and obviously not a mom. I love that Kelsie baby more than anyone else's kid. So, sorry. 

I guess that means that I am giving you free leave to not be offended and to take what I write with a grain of salt. Because even if you are a crazy mom, and I claim to hate crazy moms, I more than likely don't hate you. You're probably one of my most favorite people in the world.

His Hands

A girl in my ward sang His Hands (by Kenneth Cope) in Sacrament Meeting for a special musical number today. She was singing it as a solo and I was nervous for her because of her song choice. See, this song makes me cry every time I hear it (even now that I have a stone heart -- which, consequently, I feel like it has been chipping away as of late, but that's another post). I can't listen to it without crying. And I certainly can't sing it without crying - trust me, I just tried to and it didn't go over well - and so for her to take on this song, I was very impressed. Not only did she sound really well, but she didn't cry. I was impressed.

Here are the lyrics. See if you can read them without getting a little emotional.

his hands
tools of creation
stronger than nations
power without end
and yet through them we find our truest friend
his hands
sermons of kindness
healing men's blindness
halting years of pain
children waiting to be held again

his hands would serve his whole life though
showing man what hands might do
giving, ever giving, endlessly
each day was filled with selflessness
and I’ll not rest until I make up my hands what they could be
'til these hands become like those from Galilee

his hands
lifting a leper
warming a beggar
calling back the dead
breaking bread, five thousand fed
his hands
hushing contention
pointing to heaven
ever free of sin
then bidding man to follow him

his hands would serve his whole life though
showing man what hands might do
giving, ever giving, endlessly
each day was filled with selflessness
and I’ll not rest until I make up my hands what they could be
'til these hands become like those from Galilee

his hands
clasped in agony
as he lay pleading, bleeding in the garden
while just moments away
other hands betray him
out of greed, shameful greed
and then his hands
are trembling
straining to carry the beam that they've been led to
as he stumbles through the streets
heading towards the hill on which he died
he would die
they take his hands, his mighty hands, those gentle hands
and then they pierce them, they pierce them
he lets them, because of love
from birth to death was selflessness
and clearly now I see him with his hands
calling to me
and though I’m not yet as I would be
he has shown me how I could be
I will make my hands like those from GalileeAlso, the Mormon Message on lds.org is super good. The apostles and Prophets of this Church are so eloquent. And though I can't say what they are saying without sounding like a blubbering idiot, I want you to know that I echo what they say. How lucky we are to have the knowledge we have of our Savior.




Also, can I just say how much I love our Church? I love that they are using technology like youtube.com. I love that they are constantly coming out with helps for us. I love that we can access our favorite talks from conference NOW instead of waiting for the Ensign to come out next month. I love how much LOVE the President and Prophet and the prophets and apostles down to the bishop of our ward have for each of the members.

Hopefully you will watch the videos attached to this when you get a chance.

The Internal Bra

So, I'm making up for not blogging practically the whole month of March. We were busy at work, I've been stressing out and over all I just haven't gotten enough sleep. Every time I've sat down at my computer, I fall asleep and don't get anything done. Plus, my poor brain is completely fried, and so every time I come up with an idea to blog about, I forget when I do have time to blog and it is this whole big mess of a cycle.

However, a few weeks ago I was not sleeping in front of my computer - rather I was barely surviving a most intolerable and  horrific week - and I stumbled across this website...

Internal Bra

Many women would love to have shapely breasts without needing the help of a bra. Now plastic surgeons have made that possible by developing an internal bra to permanently lift and shape.
The first woman to have internal bra fitted had her operation three weeks ago and surgeons have hailed it as a success.
The bra is fitted in a 40 minute keyhole operation that allows a woman to go into hospital in the morning and be out by lunch time... [Follow the link for the rest of the article]

Personally, I think this is incredible. Why?

The internal bra is a harness-like device is inserted under the skin using a local anaesthetic. The procedure should also be cheaper than a traditional breast lift, which costs around £4,000 and often requires an overnight stay in hospital.
It is similar in shape to a fabric bra, but is made of silicone, the plastic already used in breast implants.
Surgeons make two tiny cuts less than a centimeter wide underneath each breast.
Silicone cups like the ones used in a traditional uplift bra are then are then inserted around 1cm below the skin.
Then surgeons fit fine straps made from a strong material that will hold the bra in place without it sagging These are attached to the ribs between the breast and the shoulder with a pair of titanium screws.
Then they are stitched to the cups and everything is tightened to lift the breasts into the desired position.

Now, I've spoken to a few of my friends, and they hate the idea of unnecessary surgery and blah blah blah. There's also the fact that this is a relatively new procedure, so long-term effects have yet to be studied and it's probably very expensive. More so because the FDA hasn't approved it yet, so it is only available in Europe (which I wouldn't mind going to, anyway). And, I'm not sure how well it would work if you got pregnant after the procedure. However, these things do not bother me. I just wish someone had signed me up as a trial patient!

I'm just imagining the freedom! And then of course, the fact that my friends with exile me to Santa Fe where I can live out my other goal of becoming a full-fledged tree-hugger with billowy skirts, going bra-less and letting my grays grow out to where there is color on the bottom of my long hair and gray at the tops....(*shudder*) Anyway, if you hear that I have moved to Santa Fe, you'll know why.

There is also another internal bra, but it uses mesh-like material that works as a support similar to what they use for hernia patients. Information on that can be found here. Personally, I like the silicone option better.