Everything

Line of the Night: "Not enough for me? You are everything."--Jim to Pam

Watching The Office isn't supposed to make me cry.

Writing Realistic Love Stories

I don't think it is a secret that I write and read romances. There's something about them that I just can't seem to give up, and I've really only tried (to give them up) halfheartedly anyway. Despite having a great love for these stories, I will be the first to admit that they are completely unrealistic, almost always cheesy, and just a little bit vomit-inducing.

I was talking to a friend and he asked, "Why can't a realistic love story be written?"

My immediate answer: It can't. It just can't. Not in a romance novel. Because there is always going to be an element of cheese. Because do guys really say those things that makes your heart melt and kicks up a flock of butterflies in your stomach?


Kisses this awesome have to be scripted and acted out. I'm beginning to think that they don't really happen in real life.

Besides, if realistic love stories were written, you'd have to include all the mundane things. The annoying habits that you have to put up with...

I don't know. The closest thing I've read to a "real" love story is in Diana Gabaldon's Outlander series. And even though the love story seems to ring true (if just a little puffed up) the rest of the story isn't, what with the witches and time travel and magic stones. Movies that portray "real" love stories end up like Blue Valentine, which is just depressing.

When I wrote my book, I tried to make it a realistic love story. It just got boring. So I threw in some things that I hope happen to absolutely nobody in real life.

I guess there's a reason we call it fiction; and a reason why the genre is so popular. We have to get our fixes of this overly-passionate, unrealistic love somewhere, because we aren't going to get it in our real lives.

Hey - I like that.

Two things I discovered this week that I really like.

1. Cactus. The FTC went to Rancho Market for lunch this week and Meghan and I ordered this dish that consists of chicken, beef, shrimp, jalapenos, onions and Mexican cheese cooked and soaking in a cheesy sauce with more peppers. It's spicy. It comes out still cooking in the stoneware they serve it in. It's served with beans and rice and you build it into a tortilla - "like a fajita - but better," as Meghan described it. It was fabulous. It cost some $20, but there's enough food to feed four... and yes, I had my leftovers for dinner tonight and it was delicious. I was most surprised about like the cactus. I'd never had cactus before... It is soooo yummy.

2. Justified. "Timothy Olyphant stars as Marshal Raylan Givens, a modern-day lawman with a 19th-century attitude. Based on an Elmore Leonard character, Givens employs a brash brand of justice that makes him a target of criminals, so his marshal superiors relocate him to his hometown. Nick Searcy (CSI) co-stars as Givens' friend and boss. Look for Walton Goggins (The Shield) and Natalie Zea (Dirty Sexy Money) in prominent guest spots. " - TVGuide

It's a new show on FX about a US Marshal stationed in Kentucky. I like it because Raylan is from Kentucky. They flash parts of Lexington. There are all sorts of Kentucky hicks. But the show takes you other places. Raylan is a smart-a. And while he is the law, he banters and jokes with the bad guys. Right before he shoots them. There's no romance. There's a lot of shooting (Raylan aims for the heart, and doesn't think twice about shooting.) So far out of 4 episodes, he's managed to kill someone, or quite a few someones, in every one of them. Maybe it's his accent. Or his wit. Or even his hat. But Raylan Givens is sexy. Oh, that might be why I watch it? I don't rightly know. It's on Tuesday nights, but I just watch it on hulu.com.

Words of Wisdom by Michael Scott

David Wallace: So I am going to fax that information to you today.
Michael: Fax? Why don't you just send it over on a dinosaur?
David: sighs impatiently Michael, this is important.
Michael: Then why don't you email it?

Truer words have never been spoken. Working at KMA, I have used a Rolodex and fax machine more often than any other office equipment. We are so outdated here! But honestly, I can't complain because I know there are other construction offices that are worse off than we are. At least we have a scanner and can email things if we wanted to. Just sometimes we forget. Even me!

Like a few weeks ago when I was to send quite a number of pages of specs to one of our engineers and thought that the only way to get it to him was the fax machine.... And of course the fax machine didn't have enough memory to get it all through at once, so I started breaking it up into pieces until I remembered the scanner upstairs. Which resulted in the following email:

Hi J,

I fell into a worm-hole and landed in the dark ages where I thought a fax was the only way to get you the specs you requested. I’m back now – I’ve scanned the requested pages and I’m copying them over to you now.
Let me know if there is anything else you need.


Shelli

How embarrassing, right? There's something about faxes that inherently bug me anyway. It might be the fact that my machine jams all the time because it thinks it needs to feed about 30 pages at once and then yells at me to fix it. Or just the incessant beeping. OR the fact that the tray is never on right, there isn't enough memory and it just looks ugly and takes up too much space. It also results in unnecessary phone calls, because you always have to call the person to ensure that the fax sent or received correctly. Note: the great thing about email is that you can check a little box that will TELL you whether or not the email has been opened. Or do something as simple as say, "Please reply" and they just have to send a one-word answer. AND you don't have to waste paper. Brilliant. Just freaking brilliant. I love email.

J's response?

Shelli, I'm glad you got your technology straightened out.

So am I, J. So am I.

"Gimme all your money, I take care of it no problem."

I don't know why, but this seriously cracks me up every time I see it.

"Gimme all your money, I take care of it no problem."

Coco

I've read bits and pieces of this whole controversy with Late Night and Coco vs. Leno throughout the last few weeks, but since I don't watch late night TV (or I do, just not these shows) often, I didn't really know everything. I've never been a Leno fan - especially after attempting to watch his horrible earlier show. The only thing I've ever liked from him were those clips from the newspapers...and really, isn't it the newspaper that was funny, not Leno?

Anyway, I've always like Conan O'Brien more. I think he is funnier. I like his sense of humor. And now I like him even more as we see how much of a humble - just over all good guy he is. (I've embedded a video below here... you'll probably have to go to my ACTUAL blog to see it. Click here to do that.)



In other news, I work across the street from a bakery and just watched a really fat man help his really fat wife get into their car after sharing a few doughnuts - or a dozen. Who says chivalry isn't dead?

Virgin Lips

"You've really never kissed anyone?"
"That's right."
"But that's so...weird. You always seem so willing."

Staying at my uncle's house, I've been, uh, able to - forced to - exposed to - a lot of kid's shows. You know the stuff that plagues the Disney channel and the Nick channel.


"Should we, just, uh, get it over with?"

On iCarly, a show that I have never been able to sit through a whole episode - I don't have a clue what it is about. Except, Carly has an internet show? I don't know. Anyway, her friend announces that their other friend has never kissed anyone. The rest of the show is him being embarassed by his virgin lip status to the point where he doesn't talk to anyone, not even his mom, and moves onto the fire escape to escape ridicule.

The girl that exposed him then admits on the show that she has also never kissed anyone. And everyone is shocked.

Well, I don't see what is so shocking. These kids are what? Fourteen? Fifteen maybe? And now my 8 and 9 year old cousins are watching this thinking that it isn't normal to not have kissed someone before they are even allowed to date. *shakes head*

It makes us 24 year-olds wonder what we are supposed to be doing...