Writing Realistic Love Stories

I don't think it is a secret that I write and read romances. There's something about them that I just can't seem to give up, and I've really only tried (to give them up) halfheartedly anyway. Despite having a great love for these stories, I will be the first to admit that they are completely unrealistic, almost always cheesy, and just a little bit vomit-inducing.

I was talking to a friend and he asked, "Why can't a realistic love story be written?"

My immediate answer: It can't. It just can't. Not in a romance novel. Because there is always going to be an element of cheese. Because do guys really say those things that makes your heart melt and kicks up a flock of butterflies in your stomach?


Kisses this awesome have to be scripted and acted out. I'm beginning to think that they don't really happen in real life.

Besides, if realistic love stories were written, you'd have to include all the mundane things. The annoying habits that you have to put up with...

I don't know. The closest thing I've read to a "real" love story is in Diana Gabaldon's Outlander series. And even though the love story seems to ring true (if just a little puffed up) the rest of the story isn't, what with the witches and time travel and magic stones. Movies that portray "real" love stories end up like Blue Valentine, which is just depressing.

When I wrote my book, I tried to make it a realistic love story. It just got boring. So I threw in some things that I hope happen to absolutely nobody in real life.

I guess there's a reason we call it fiction; and a reason why the genre is so popular. We have to get our fixes of this overly-passionate, unrealistic love somewhere, because we aren't going to get it in our real lives.

The Sun's Out But...

Has anybody read John Bytheway's What I Wish I'd known When I Was Single: How to do Life as a Young Adult? I listened to the audio version in a car ride home from a trip to Las Vegas with a bunch of single girls (who, coincidentally, are all married now) circa 2007-2008. I was a young adult then. Now I'm a *gulp* mid-single.

I remember it being good: the talk. Not necessarily my young adulthood. (Although, that wasn't really bad in any way, either). John Bytheway is funny, and a good speaker, and he makes some really good points about life, and the church, and things like that. I don't remember everything, but there was one segment where he talked about singles, and how we get stuck to where all we do is think about being single. All we talk about it being single. Everything is about our singlehood.

"The sun's out, but I'm still single."
"I like your haircut, and I'm still single."

Somehow conversations always turn to back to our solitary state. It shouldn't be like that, but it is. And I've noticed that in my own life, the "woe is me for being single" attitude and conversation has been coming up more and more - usually by me - and I can't seem to stop myself! I'm annoyed by it; I can't imagine how my married friends and family feel...though I'm sure they are equally sick of it. But like new moms who talk of nothing but their little tots, and how old people talk about their failing bodies, I can't seem to find anything else more interesting then how alone I am.

Every conversation is dominated by how to catch a certain guy. Or why other guys don't give me the time of day. Or why I attract the ones - the few - that I do. Often, I'm looking for confirmation that I'm a catch. That I deserve a certain caliber of guy, or that I'm sexy enough or smart enough... That I'm not too old. That it isn't hopeless.

Other times, I'm just looking for people to get mad at. For those of you who got married before you turned 24 and have a great husband, or those that might still be single but are dating all the time, or anyone else I deem dis-credible, un-empathetic, or generally silly, I apologize. You're in a losing battle.

Every time I catch myself turning the conversation back to my lack of a +1, I cringe and say to myself something along those lines, "The sun's out, but..."

It doesn't stop me from talking it all out, but, it does remind me how obnoxious it is.

Facebook Messages

I happened to open my Facebook messages today and found a whole bunch of random "emails" that I've never seen before. All from random people that don't have pictures, for instance:

Alan B*nder

• hey there
  hey there Shelli. you look fantastic.
  email me. my emai is sweety@freemailboxonline.com for my personal images.
  make sure to send it there and not through FB. -June 23, 2011

Or this one, sent on Friday:

Faris Al*in

• how r u?
  
  Im Faris from UAE
  
  Studying in Cali State university Long Beach
  
  I like going to gym, beach,
  soccer, volleyball......
  
  I love traveling been to: UK,
  greece, Australia, singapore,
  thailand, malaysia, thinking to
  go to Spain and Italy soon.....
  
  
  Lets chat

I wonder how many responses they actually get? Is it because I complain about being single too much?

Clean Room

My room is clean. Truly clean: dusted, vacuumed, bed made, clothes put away, drawers organiz....ok, the my desk drawers aren't really organized. But aside from that, it is clean. I always feel like I don't know what to do with myself when my room is clean. When my clothes are laying on the floor making it necessary for a pogo stick, I can find any number of things to do. There's always a book to be read, a show to catch up on, friends to hang out with, shopping to be done, baking to be done, etc. etc. etc. But when my room is clean, I feel lost. I feel like I should have a party in my room, but I can't find anything to do.

What does that say about me? It seems very, very backwards. Because my room is clean, I should be doing all of those things mentioned above. I have enough room in here to do yoga if I wanted!

I think there is a reason that the one novel I finished writing was finished while I was supposed to be doing Statistics. I'm driven by chaos and mostly by procrastinating. That's not a good thing, and it's about to change. Because I'm going to have to find something to do now that my room is GOING to stay clean.

Day 2, complete.

Jack Weyland Lied to Me!!

Last night I went to dinner with my good friend Becca Riddle. She and I were talking about the expectations we had when we moved to Provo. Jack Weyland is a popular LDS author that writes stories that are so crazy, and yet, seem so realistic and almost always end up with the guy and girl getting together -- usually after lots of really fun, cool dates.

When we moved here, we thought we were going to be the heroines of our own Jack Weyland novel.

Of course, Jack Weyland doesn't seem to know that the majority of people in LDS culture are dating-retards. Taught from a young age that pairing off is inappropriate, avoiding a serious commitment prior to a mission is strongly objected to and all various sorts of physical affection is kept under tight ropes, when the missions are over and the green light says "GO! MARRIAGE! NOW!" It's no wonder that those who aren't rushed to the altar at the age of 21, are left scratching their heads and hanging out at your 37516853rd dessert party.

Then there are those that recognize that you are in fact, a 10 Cow Woman (Thank you, Johnny Lingo), in a bad economy. What's a 10 Cow Woman to do when no one has the cows to pay up??

Thank you, Becca, for a hilarious evening.

Pride vs. Confidence

If pride is the gateway sin to all other sins, but you are unattractive without confidence...

If low self-esteem is undesirable, but humility is sought after...

If there is a line somewhere, but you are unable to distinguish it... then how do you know where one begins and the other ends?

The truth is, I think, that it all comes down to "moderation in all things," like we hear all the time. Of course, I've never been terribly good at moderating anything...so I often come off as really downgrading towards myself or under-confident.

But that isn't always the case. Or, at least, that isn't what I'm trying to portray.