Has anybody read John Bytheway's What I Wish I'd known When I Was Single: How to do Life as a Young Adult? I listened to the audio version in a car ride home from a trip to Las Vegas with a bunch of single girls (who, coincidentally, are all married now) circa 2007-2008. I was a young adult then. Now I'm a *gulp* mid-single.
I remember it being good: the talk. Not necessarily my young adulthood. (Although, that wasn't really bad in any way, either). John Bytheway is funny, and a good speaker, and he makes some really good points about life, and the church, and things like that. I don't remember everything, but there was one segment where he talked about singles, and how we get stuck to where all we do is think about being single. All we talk about it being single. Everything is about our singlehood.
"The sun's out, but I'm still single."
"I like your haircut, and I'm still single."
Somehow conversations always turn to back to our solitary state. It shouldn't be like that, but it is. And I've noticed that in my own life, the "woe is me for being single" attitude and conversation has been coming up more and more - usually by me - and I can't seem to stop myself! I'm annoyed by it; I can't imagine how my married friends and family feel...though I'm sure they are equally sick of it. But like new moms who talk of nothing but their little tots, and how old people talk about their failing bodies, I can't seem to find anything else more interesting then how alone I am.
Every conversation is dominated by how to catch a certain guy. Or why other guys don't give me the time of day. Or why I attract the ones - the few - that I do. Often, I'm looking for confirmation that I'm a catch. That I deserve a certain caliber of guy, or that I'm sexy enough or smart enough... That I'm not too old. That it isn't hopeless.
Other times, I'm just looking for people to get mad at. For those of you who got married before you turned 24 and have a great husband, or those that might still be single but are dating all the time, or anyone else I deem dis-credible, un-empathetic, or generally silly, I apologize. You're in a losing battle.
Every time I catch myself turning the conversation back to my lack of a +1, I cringe and say to myself something along those lines, "The sun's out, but..."
It doesn't stop me from talking it all out, but, it does remind me how obnoxious it is.