Monday, May 26, 2008

Sense and Sensibility - I guess I don't have any.

I am Marianne Dashwood!

I just watched Sense and Sensibility last night, and then I took this Jane Austen quiz, and here we are - me, Marianne Dashwood. I guess it is probably true, though sometimes I feel that I more relate to Elinor. But maybe not, Marianne is very passionate, and easily obsessed. She loves her family, loves the idea of romance and love that is often written about. She isn't very practical and doesn't put up with people she doesn't like or respect them. Hmmm... I am Marianne. Interesting.

ION television had a version of Sense and Sensibility that I actually really liked. I think the
actors they chose to play the characters were better chosen. But last night's version, I really enjoyed how witty and sarcastic Emma Thompson's Elinor was. She was funny.

Friday, May 23, 2008

My Children!

And so... I have adopted.

3 beautiful children who are really going to enrich my life, and light up my day. They are so low maintenance, that they are going to be very easy to care for. For example, I gave little Horton a little haircut and he didn't fuss at all. He was also VERY willing to receive a few implants that were necessary. Vita is beautiful, and will be probably my favorite. And Valerius, well, he's going to be right at home and stay nearly out of sight. I am so excited! Of course, the best part of being a parent is having weekends off. A full two days where I will not have to worry about my children. And then I can come in Monday morning to see how they've grown and make sure they are well fed for the rest of the week.

This is going to be great!

Horton - comes from the Latin Hortensia

Valerius (pronounced

And Vita. (wee.tah)

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Back to Horse and Buggy

Horses are not cheap animals to care for. You have to pay for shoeing, saddling, food, equipment for exercising, and maintenance... and yet, with all this nonsense of raised fuel prices making it nearly impossible to find a plane ticket for under $400 and costing just as much to drive half the distance you used to be able to for the same prices... *breath*... maybe I should invest.

I miss the olden (olden, as in golden?) days where things were simple. Families lived close to one another. We were able to provide for ourselves through our own gardens, clothe ourselves without worrying which brand our dresses, and jeans, and shoes were. Men worked at home, taking pride in their land and their own work - instead of paying everyone to do things they should have learned when they were still young. Women worked in the home, supporting their husbands and having babies. Wait, how can I miss these days, when I never actually lived them? Well, I miss the idea of them, anyway. Honestly, I think the feminist movement really ruined things for me... but that's a topic for a different post.

Whether I lived them or not, one thing is for sure. If I don't get home now - as in move home, closer to my family - then I may NEVER get back. It's getting just too expensive to travel. Why can't we pay $5 train passes to travel across the country? How much did it cost to sail over the Atlantic to go to Europe? I would really love to go there, but now that it is getting SO expensive to travel, I sometimes wonder how I am going to afford getting to Clearfield (a 1 1/2 hour drive, and about half a tank) or Boise (a 4-5 hour drive, and a whole tank of gas) let alone across the oceans!

I am grateful for technology and advancements...really. I like the computer. I love typing and blogs and emailing and searching the vast knowledge of the web. I like how quickly news travels whether its between members of my family, or members of the world. Cell phones are awesome. They are so nice to multi-task. To be walking through the grocery store and talk to my mom who is 2,000 miles away, is the BEST thing ever. And let's be frank for a minute - the technology that allows us to have tampons instead of rags, birth control pills instead of crazy, out-of-control, periods is SUPER nice. Along with the amazing advancements in medicine, and education, SOME of the fashion, make-up, etc. etc. etc. I know we are blessed. I know that technology has done a lot to advance us as a people, a society, and the Church. How cool is it that we can listen to prophets teach us from Salt Lake or BYU or where ever, at the very time they are speaking? It's amazing! But, I think, I would give up some of these luxuries to go back to a simpler, cleaner (as in less pollution...and less acceptance of pornography and other vulgar things that have recently - well, not SO recently - been accepted into society) and more appealing lifestyle.

Anyone with me?

Probably not... I'm not a leader in the movement to simplicity - but if anyone is interested, I'd definitely be a follower! (Oh, but can we NOT go to the FLDS church style dresses? We can still be ATTRACTIVE simpletons.)

Monday, May 19, 2008

Lyrics and My Biggest Pet Peeve

So, sometimes, in the middle of the day my brain stops functioning. I can't work anymore, and I need a distraction. If the girls aren't up for a walk, or if I don't really have time to leave my office, I go check out a random website. Usually a favorite blog. I already have music playing on Pandora, or through or a CD that I particularly want to listen to - and I open the blog and WHAM! I am bombarded by someone else's taste in music. Do you know how confusing, loud, and obnoxious it is? It's like one of those hidden pop-ups that start talking and you can't figure out how to turn it off! So now I have to scroll down and QUICKLY push pause in order to make sure I am not blasted out of my office before the music player loads. But not only that, I have to do it EVERY TIME the page is refreshed! IT IS SO ANNOYING.

So because you force your music on me, every time I read your blog, I am going to do it too. Only less obnoxiously.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*... yeah, that's annoying.

Some songs I like for the beat, others the melody, usually it's a combination of those two and the lyrics... but lately, I have just been getting a kick out of some of these artists:

MySpace Girl (The Afters)

I saw you once, it was enough/You asked me what I wanted, I want you/But I replied, I'll have some fries
So mesmerized, my heart was over driving through

I saw your name and unashamed/I searched within 500 miles to find/Any clue just as to who I've fallen for/Cause you've got me and I've got time

I saw your picture on Myspace/Maybe someday we can turn it into ourspace baby/I don't care how long it takes/I'm saving space in my top 8 for you

The second time you were so nice/I loved the way told me to enjoy my day/But I know what you meant to say instead/Was really that you wanted us to run away

I said let's go, I'll pack my clothes/Just promise me you'll wear that/purple dress you have/You look so cute when you're confused/You backed away and asked me how I knew about that

I know you're scared/I know our love is crazy/And I'm so crazy/You make me crazy For you

The Horror of Our Love (Ludo)

I'm a killer/Cold and wrathful/Silent sleeper/I've been inside your bedroom/I've murdered half the town/Left you love notes on their headstones/I'll fill the graveyards/Until I have you

Moonlight walking/I smell your softness/Carnivorous and lusting/To track you down among the pines/I want you stuffed into my mouth/Hold you down and tear you open/Live inside you/Oh, love - I'd never hurt you

But I'll grind against your bones/Until our marrows mix/I will eat you slowly/Ohhhhh/The horror of our love...

Love Me Dead (Ludo)

Love me cancerously/Like a salt-sore soaked in the sea./'High-maintenance' means/You're a gluttonous queen/Narcissistic and mean.

Kill me romantically/Fill my soul with vomit/Then ask me for a piece of gum./Bitter and dumb/You're my sugarplum.

You're awful, I love you!
You're hideous and sexy!

Life Will Go On (Chris Isaak)

Tender dreams, shadows fall/Love too sweet, to recall/Dry your eyes, Face the dawn/Life will go on, life will go on/Broken heart find your way/Make it through just this day/Face the world on your own/Life will go on

Close I've Come (Ben Lee)

the universe is brought back/from the brink of destruction/every time you smile

Into the Dark (Ben Lee)

you're not a landmine/you're not a goldmine/no, you're not mine at all

Hmm...there are tons more. Maybe I will share more later. Or check out any of Ludo's songs. They are crazy, strange, and I absolutely love them.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

The Host

I hate when I do this. But I can't stop myself.

What is this, you ask.


Oh, glorious reading! I'm not saying that I hate reading, on the contrary. I love it! So much so, that when I find a book I read it straight through. Not thinking about the consequences. I pick it up and once I've gotten past the first chapter, it's all downhill from there. I carry it everywhere I go. Usually starting in my bed, then moving to the kitchen to eat breakfast, or something of a resemblance, then I work my way to the couch, then the floor in the living room, back to my desk, outside, and then take my delicious book to an hour, or two or three, long bath. If the book has not been finished, then it is time for dinner, or a 10:00pm snack - because time really escapes when you are devouring a wonderful book - and then finally back to my bed or the couch to finish it off at around 3am.

At least, that's when you are reading a 600+ page book. Good luck to finish it if it is longer, though, admittedly, even if it were longer - I could probably have finished it around 5 or 6 in the morning, I would have continued to read and read until it was over. Because when I'm reading, I don't feel tired. Not if it is a book that properly sucks me in.

Which is what happened yesterday, when I started reading The Host, by Stephenie Meyer. Of course I was going to read her newest novel! I love Twilight too much to NOT read another piece of work from this brilliant author who brought into my life Edward and Jacob. I hadn't always felt that way, when you read what The Host is about, it's kind of weird. To hear science fiction as the sort of genre, it made me cringe. But, SM is my hero, my friend. How could I not encourage her writing endeavors? How could I NOT read a book written by her? So as soon as I knew that I could get my hands on this book - I cleared my weekend schedule. Nothing was going to stop me from finishing it this weekend.

It did not take me the whole weekend.

I picked it up on Friday night, but hung out with my friends until 11pm. I didn't mean to stay there long, but the conversation was wonderful and I have to take advantage of the fact that they only live 10 minutes away, because they are headed back to Ohio next month. Anyway, they fed me and entertained me, AND were loaning me the book - I had to repay my gratitude. (Plus, I totally had to educate Kelli on Twilight. She has much to learn.)

I read for only a few hours on my balcony that night, and then fell asleep on the cement. I knew it was time for bed when I woke up on the hard ground. But Saturday I woke up (around 12pm, hehe) and began reading and didn't stop but long enough to wash my hair. I immediately fell in love with Ian. and Jared. and Wanderer. The concept for the book is weird, and the first few chapters, it is hard to see where this giant book is going to take you... but it is so awesome! I can't describe how much I enjoyed this book. It's nothing like I've ever read.

Don't listen to the 14 year old girls who talk about how they need millions of tissue, and bawled. I was really afraid that Stephenie would do something unfair to us and give us an unhappy ending - a practical ending. But she delivered! Just as I knew she would.

So definitely, definitely read it.

But don't read it so fast... because like most good books, it's not so fun when it's over too soon.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Did you write this, Courtney?

So, I'm going through old emails and I find this... a forward. Something that I've kept and haven't read in over 4 years. Today I did. It doesn't state its origin, but I'm pretty sure Courtney may have wrote it. (I know this is a high compliment, Cort. Try not to let it go to your head.)

I dare you all to try one of these.

Confuse Your Roommate

1. Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them.

2. Get some hair. Disperse it around your roommate’s head while he/she is asleep. Keep a pair of scissors by your bed. Snicker at your roommate every morning.

3. Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You’re back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn’t you be going somewhere?"

4. Trash the room when your roommate’s not around. Then leave and wait for your roommate to come back. When he/she does, walk in and act surprised. Say, "Uh-oh, it looks like, THEY, were here again."

5. Every time you see your roommate yell, "You son of a..." and kick him/her in the stomach. Then buy him/her some ice cream.

6. Set your roommate’s bed on fire. Apologize and explain that you’ve been watching too much "Beavis & Butthead." Do it again. Tell him/her that you’re not sorry because this time, they deserved it.

7. Put your glasses on before you go to bed. Take them off as soon as you wake up. If your roommate asks, explain that they are Magic Dream Glasses. Complain that you’ve been having terrible nightmares.

8. Eat lots of "Lucky Charms." Pick out all the yellow moons and stockpile them in the closet. If your roommate inquires, explain that visitors are coming, but you can’t say anything more, or you’ll have to face the consequences.

9. Set up meetings with your roommate’s faculty advisor. Inquire about his/her academic potential. Take lots of notes, and then give your roommate a full report. Insist that he/she do the same.

10. "Drink" a raw egg for breakfast every morning. Explain that you are in training. Eat a dozen donuts every night.

11. Every Thursday, pack up everything you own and tell your roommate you’re going home. Come back in an hour and explain that no one was home. Unpack everything and go to sleep.

12. Every time you wake up, start yelling, "Oh, my Gosh! Where the heck am I?!" and run around the room for a few minutes. Then go back to bed. If your roommate asks, say you don’t know what he/she is talking about.

13. Draw a tiny, black spot on your arm. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, "It’s spreading, it’s spreading."

14. Buy a McDonald’s "Happy Meal" for lunch every day. Eat the straw and the napkin. Throw everything else away.

15. Buy a plant. Sleep with it at night. Talk to it. After a few weeks, start to argue with it loudly. Then yell, "I can’t live in the same room with you," storm out of the room and slam the door. Get rid of the plant, but keep the pot. Refuse to discuss the plant ever again.

16. Buy a Jack-In-The-Box. Every day, turn the handle until the clown pops out. Scream continuously for twenty minutes.

17. Hang up pictures of chickens all over the room. If your roommate eats eggs, yell at him/her and call him/her a cannibal.

18. Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you’re doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon...."

19. Lock the door while your roommate is out. When he/she comes back and tries to unlock it, yell, "Don’t come in, I’m naked!" Keep this up for several hours. When you finally let your roommate in, immediately take off all of your clothes, and ignore your roommate.

20. Bring in potential "new" roommates from around campus. Give them tours of the room and the building. Have them ask about your roommate in front of him/her, and reply, "Oh, him/her? He/she won’t be here much longer."

21. If your roommate comes home after midnight, hit him/her on the head with a rolling pin. Immediately go to bed, muttering, "Ungrateful little..."

22. Pile dirty dishes in your roommate’s bed. Insist that you don’t know how they got there.

23. Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.

24. Feign a serious illness for two weeks. Have a priest come to your room and visit you. Write out a will, leaving everything to your roommate. One day, miraculously "recover." Insist that your roommate write out a will, leaving everything to you. Every time he/she coughs, excitedly say, "Oooh, are you dying?"

25. Live in the hallway for a month. Afterwards, bring all of your stuff back into the room and tell your roommate, "Okay, your turn."

26. Keep a tarantula in a jar for three days. Then get rid of the tarantula. If your roommate asks, say, "Oh, he’s around here somewhere."

27. Tell your roommate, "I’ve got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can’t remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.

28. Bowl inside the room. Set up tournaments with other people in the building. Award someone a trophy. If your roommate wants to bowl too, explain that he/she needs bowling shoes.

29. Walk backwards all the time. Then pretend to trip and hurt yourself. Fake an injury and go through a long, painful recovery. Start walking backwards again.

30. While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.

31. Explain to your roommate that you’re going to be housing a prospective student in the near future. One day, bring in a pig. If your roommate protests, hug the pig and tell your roommate that he/she hurt its feelings. Watch T.V with the pig, eating lots of bacon.

32. Make a sandwich. Don’t eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the heck is my sandwich!?" Complain loudly that you are hungry.

33. Punch a hole in the T.V. Sit and watch it anyway, complaining about the poor picture quality.

34. Wear a cape. Stand in front of an open window for about an hour every day. Then, one day, when your roommate is gone, go outside and lie down underneath the window, pretending to be hurt, and wait for your roommate to return. The next day, start standing in front of the window again.

35. Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate’s potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate’s potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, "He just didn’t belong."

36. Fill an empty shaving cream can with whipped cream. Use it to shave, and then spray some into your mouth. Later on, complain that you feel sick. Continue this process for several weeks.

37. Cover your bed with a tent. Live inside it for a week. If your roommate asks, explain that "It’s a jungle out there." Get your roommate to bring you food and water.

38. Keep a vacuum cleaner in the middle of the room. Look at it with fear for a few days. Then stay out of the room entirely, opening the door only a crack and whispering to your roommate, "Psst! Is it gone?"

39. Break the window with a rock. If your roommate protests, explain that you were hot. Open and close the broken window as you normally would.

40. Throw darts at a bare wall. All of a sudden, act excited, telling your roommate that you hit the bull’s eye.

41. Send flowers to your roommate, with a card that says, "I’m sorry. It won’t happen again." When you see them, start ripping up the flowers. Repeat the process for a few weeks.

42. Call your roommate "Clyde" by accident. Start doing so every so often. Increase the frequency over the next few weeks, until you are calling him "Clyde" all the time. If your roommate protests, say, "I’m sorry. I won’t do that anymore, Murray."

43. Hire a night watchman to guard the room while you are sleeping.

44. Move everything to one side of the room. Ask your roommate if he knows how much an elephant weighs, and look at the floor on the empty side of the room with concern.

45. Practice needlepoint every night. At one point, grab your thumb and scream, "Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" Cry hysterically for a few minutes, and then go to bed. Sob and sniff all night.

46. When your roommate comes in, pretend that you are on the phone, screaming angrily and shouting obscenities. After you hang up, say, "That was your mom. She said she’d call back."

47. Every time your roommate comes in, immediately turn off the lights and go to bed. When he/she leaves, get up and loudly yell, "Okay, guys, you can come out now."

48. Start wearing a crown, all the time. If your roommate tells you to take it off, say, "What the heck do you think you are? A king?"

49. Sit in front of a chess board for hours, saying nothing, doing nothing. Then, look up and say, "I think this game goes a lot faster with two players."

50. Talk back to your "Rice Krispies." All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer."

51. Change the locks on the door. Don’t let your roommate in unless he/she says the secret word. Change the secret word often. If your roommate can’t guess the secret word, make him/her pay for a clue.

52. Scatter stuffed animals around the room. Put party hats on them. Play loud music. When your roommate walks in, turn off the music, take off the party hats, put away the stuffed animals, and say, "Well, it was fun while it lasted."

53. Hang a tire swing from the ceiling. Act like a monkey. If someone besides your roommate comes in, cease acting like a monkey and claim that the tire swing was your roommate’s idea. When you and your roommate are alone again, continue acting like a monkey.

54. Unplug everything in the room except for one toaster. Pray to the toaster. Bring it gifts. Throw some of your roommate’s possessions out the window. Say that the toaster made you do it.

55. Challenge your roommate to a duel. If he refuses, claim that you have won by forfeit and therefore conquered his side of the room. Insist that he remove all of his possessions immediately.

56. Sign your roommate up for various activities. (Campus tour guide, blood donor, organ donor).

57. Start dressing like an Indian. If your roommate inquires, claim that you are getting in touch with your NativeAmerican roots. If your roommate accuses you of not having any NativeAmerican roots, claim that he/she has offended your people and put a curse on your roommate.

58. Wear your shoes on the wrong feet, all the time. Constantly complain that your feet hurt.

59. Hit your roommate on the head with a brick. Claim that you were trying to kill a mosquito.

60. Steal something valuable of your roommate’s. If he/she asks about it, tell him/her that you traded it for some magic beans. Give some beans to your roommate.

61. Instead of turning off the light switch, smash the light bulb with a hammer. Put a new bulb in the next day. Complain often about the cost of light bulbs.

62. Videotape yourself hammering a nail into a wall for a while, and then stopping. Play the tape in your room. Right before the hammering stops on the videotape, look at the screen and say, "Don’t do that."

63. Buy a lamp. Tell your roommate it’s a magic lamp, with a genie inside it. Spend a week thinking about what to wish for. At the end of the week, report that someone has released the genie from the lamp. Blame your roommate.

64. Whenever your roommate brushes his/her teeth, watch him/her do so. Take notes. Write a paper on it, and circulate it around campus. If your roommate protests, say, "The people have a right to know!"

65. Collect potato chips that you think look like famous people. Find one that looks like your roommate. Burn it, and explain, "It had to be done."

66. Read the phone book out loud and excitedly. ("Frank Johnson! Oh, wow! 837-9494! Holy cow!")

67. Shadow box several times a day. One day, walk in looking depressed. If your roommate asks what’s wrong, explain that your shadow can’t box with you anymore due to an injury. Ask your roommate if you can box with his/her shadow.

68. When you walk into the room, look at your roommate in disgust and yell, "Oh, you’re here!" Walk away yelling and cursing.

69. Put up flyers around the building, reporting that your roommate is missing. Offer a reward for his/her safe return.

70. Buy a watermelon. Draw a face on it and give it a name. Ask your roommate if the watermelon can sleep in his/her bed. If your roommate says no, drop the watermelon out the window. Make it look like a suicide. Say nasty things about your roommate at the funeral.

71. Draw a chalk outline on the floor. When your roommate comes in, say, "Don’t worry. It’s not what you think." If he/she asks about it again, immediately change the subject.

72. Drink a cup of coffee every morning. When you finish it, gnaw on the mug for about ten minutes. Then, look at your roommate, immediately put the mug away, and quickly leave the room.

73. Paint a tunnel on the wall like they do in cartoons. Every day, hit your head as you attempt to crawl through it. Hold your head and grumble, "Dern road runner...."

74. Leave memos on your roommate’s bed that say things like, "I know what you did," and "Don’t think you can fool me." Sign them in blood.

75. Hold a raffle, offering your roommate as first prize. If he/she protests, tell him/her that it’s all for charity.

76. Make cue cards for your roommate. Get them out whenever you’d like to have a conversation.

77. Talk like a pirate, all the time. Threaten to make your roommate walk the plank if he/she doesn’t swab the deck. Arrrrrrrrrrrgh!

78. Set up about twenty plants in an organized formation. When your roommate walks in, pretend to be in the middle of delivering a speech to the plants. Whisper to them, "We’ll continue this later," while eyeing your roommate suspiciously.

79. Buy a telescope. Sit on your bed and look across the room at your roommate through the telescope. When you’re not using the telescope, act like your roommate is too far away for you to see.

80. Keep some worms in a shoebox. When doing homework, go and consult with the worms every so often. Then become angry, shouting at the worms that they’re stupid and they don’t know what they’re talking about.

81. Watch "Psycho" every day for a month. Then act excited every time your roommate goes to take a shower.

82. Wear a paper hat. Every time your roommate walks in, say, "Welcome to McDonalds, can I take your... Oh, it’s just you." Take off the hat, sit, and pout.

83. Go through your roommate’s textbooks with a red pen, changing things and making random corrections. If your roommate protests, tell him/her that you just couldn’t take it anymore.

84. Leave the room at random, knock on the door, and wait for your roommate to let you back in. If he/she asks about it, go on a tangent about the importance of good manners.

85. Hang a horseshoe above the door. Make up stories about having had good luck. Then, take the horseshoe down and wrap your head in bandages. When you see your roommate, look above the door where the horseshoe used to be, hold your head, and mutter, "Stupid horseshoe...."

86. Carve a jack-o-lantern. Complain to your roommate that the jack-o-lantern has been staring at you. The next day, tell your roommate that the jack-o-lantern thinks he/she has been staring at it. Confide in your roommate that you really don’t like the jack-olantern, but you can’t convince it to move out.

87. As soon as your roommate turns the light off at night, begin singing famous operas as loud as you can. When your roommate turns on the light, look around and pretend to be confused.

88. Hang a basketball net on the wall. Challenge your refrigerator to basketball games, and play them in front of your roommate. Do so for about a month. Confide in your roommate that you think the refrigerator has been taking steroids.

89. Drink lots of lemonade. Talk obnoxiously for hours about how much you love lemonade. Then, one day, paint your face yellow. From then on, complain about how much you hate lemonade.

90. Late at night, start conversations that begin with, "Remember the good old days, when we used to..." and make up stories involving you and your roommate.

91. Whenever your roommate sneezes, go and hide in the closet for about and hour. Look around nervously for the rest of the day.

92. Sit and stare at your roommate for hours. Bring others in to join you. Eat peanuts, throwing a few at your roommate. Then say, "Boy, these zoos just aren’t what they used to be."

93. Tell your roommate that your toe hurts, and that means there’s going to be an earthquake, soon. While your roommate is out, trash everything on his/her side of the room. When he/she returns, explain that the earthquake hit, but only on one side of the room.

94. Buy a gun. Clean it every day. One day, put a band-aid on your forehead, and refuse to discuss the gun ever again.

95. Buy a lobster. Pretend to play cards with it. Complain to your roommate that the lobster is making up his own rules.

96. Make pancakes every morning, but don’t eat them. Draw faces on them, and toss them in the closet. Watch them for several hours each day. Complain to your roommate that your "pancake farm" isn’t evolving into a self-sufficient community. Confide in your roommate that you think the king of the pancakes has been taking bribes.

97. While you are ironing, pretend to burn yourself. Start a garbage can fire in the middle of the room. Toss the iron inside. If your roommate objects, explain that you are just trying to get even.

98. Buy some turtles. Paint numbers on their backs. Race them down the hall.

99. Create an army of animal crackers. Put them through basic training. Set up little checkpoints around the room. Tell your roommate that the camel spotted him/her in a restricted area and said not to do it again. Ask your roommate to apologize to the camel.

100. Put out a plate of cookies at night. Tell your roommate that they’re for the Sandman. Take a bite out of one of the cookies while your roommate is asleep. The next morning, accuse your roommate of having bitten one of the cookies. If he/she tries to tell you the Sandman did it, insist that you know what the Sandman’s teeth marks look like and that those are, in fact, not the Sandman’s teeth marks. Grumble angrily and storm out of the room.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Random Thoughts

I wanted this post to start out really friendly, deep, and nice. A treasure for people to read. But as I sit here working on my 56k connection, I can hardly concentrate long enough for the happy feelings to get them typed out. Since when is 56k so slow! I guess it's just been awhile since having BYU housing connections... UGH! I can't watch a simple YouTube video, or more importantly, videos on a certain something* and the cast, and the On the Set... uh oh. I think I said I wouldn't mention this particular something in this post. Most importantly, I can't watch the shows that I miss throughout the week, like The Office. NBC has so kindly posted it on their website, so that I can watch with limited commercials, and my internet is too da-rrrnnnn slowwwww. UGH! (I said that already...)

Moving on.

Last night, as I was laying in bed, reading and then trying to sleep, I noticed this most magnificent fragrance coming from my open windows. Sitting outside the Omni apartments are several trees that have bloomed into the pretty purply-pink blossoms that smell so amazing! And as the floral scent tickled my senses, I took a deep breath of gratitude for spring. I lay there thinking on how if I were an artist, of any sort, the smell might have inspired me to create some sort of masterpiece. Like a magnificent work or art, a beautiful song or poem. But I'm not an artist, I only pretend at it sometimes, and all you get is this mention in my post.

Also, I really love the mail. I love that after spending a lot of money, everything that I have ordered has finally arrived. Among my presents, my new Eva Ibbotson book and my Ludo CD, which I have been listening to (much to the chagrin of my roommates) over and over!

I am glad that I do not smoke or drink. For I truly think that if I liked it, I would be obsessed with it, and it would cause pain or death to someone. Probably me. Thank goodness for the Word of Wisdom! It has saved my life.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008


I have NEVER in my life been so excited for something such as this!!!

I'm so grateful for a fast computer at work - because I would have NEVER been able to watch this on my home computer. Stupid slow connection.

Watch the teaser trailer. It is amazing.

It's not OK to be like this - I understand. But I can't help it. I'll update on my life another time.

Twilighters Anonymous? Alcoholic Anonymous (AA) is set up for people who battle addictions to alcohol. Not all people battle with this type of addiction. Some people have other addictions. Like Twilight. Twilight is an amazing book series. That I love. No. I'm obsessed. No. I am utterly and crazily addicted, and we all know that addictions to any substance are bad. Especially if you are addicted to mythical, fictional characters that are as real to you as your 18-year-old dropout brother. Sometimes I think it is easier to believe that Edward exists, rather than believe that Mark isn't going to graduate from high school.

Anyway, I need help. At least I think I do. Anyone know of a TA? Twilighters Anonymous. Similar to NA, narcotics anonymous. Of course... you have to want help before you can be helped. Perhaps I'm not ready for the 12 step program. Perhaps I enjoy LOVING Twilight the way I do.

I promise. My next post will have nothing to do with Twilight. But the one after that... I'm not Alice. I can't see ahead in the future.

Friday, May 02, 2008

I'm in Love

Obsession: ob·ses·sion

1: a persistent disturbing preoccupation with an often unreasonable idea or feeling; broadly : compelling motivation obsession with Twilight>

Addiction: ad·dic·tion

1: compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming substance (as romance novels, heroin, nicotine, or alcohol) characterized by tolerance and by well-defined physiological symptoms upon withdrawal; broadly : persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be harmful


1: warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion <love of basketball>
2: the object of attachment, devotion, or admiration love>

I am easily excited. Easily pleased. It is one of the few good child-like qualities I possess. But people don't always share the same enthusiasm I have for everything. Not that I can pretend to understand, how can you brush off some of the simple pleasures of life without so much as a little squeal of happiness? These little treasures in life come by the basket full, but I've noticed that there are a few things that I have just really become attached to. I used to claim that I was obsessed, or addicted - but those have such negative connotations; I didn't feel right about expressing my adoration for these certain things that just make me SO happy. It can only be described as love.

So these are the things (In no particular order) that I am currently in LOVE with, and I have no problem dropping the L-bomb.

  1. Twilight. I read the whole series around the the time that Eclipse came out. I read all 3 books in less than 3 days. I was smitten immediately. The writing may not be brilliant, but the characterization is. Edward and Bella (and Emmett, Jasper, Alice, Rosalie, Jacob, etc. etc.) are very real to me. I love them as I would my own friends. They are amazing. Because Stephenie Meyer gave birth to them, and not only that but knows them more intimately than I ever will, I love her too. Thank you Stephenie for bringing them into my life. (And thank you, Katie and Courtney for being in love with them first!) I can't WAIT until August 2, when the 4th book is released.
  2. The Twilight Movie. I had to put this separately because I recognize that this movie is not going to be exactly like my beloved Twilight series. They will change things - take out scenes, add weird effects that probably won't be needed, etc. But as I keep track and people continue to show me interviews, clips of the sets, casting slides, and stuff like that, I continue to be more and more excited about the movie. The cast seems to have really good chemistry, and I think that is what is going to make this movie. I am so thankful that Breaking Dawn comes out in August, otherwise I would have to wait until December for the movie without any reprieve to my NEED for all things Twilight.
  3. Marcia Lynn McClure and the Clean Romance Club. Yes, I am in a club called the Clean Romance Club. Where people like me enjoy the intense sexual tension that results in awesome make-out scenes but nothing else, and true love that ignites almost instantly to ridiculously attractive men that make the heroine's mouth water for want of a kiss. The fact that they hardly ever have shirts on, can survive attacks by mountain lions, Mexican bandits, or evil villains make them all the more attractive. Adding the complete inappropriateness from the 1800s (which is harmless by today's standards) and I am completely in LOVE with these books. I don't care if the storyline does repeat itself with each new book. I love them!
  4. Ludo. I saw this band as an opening act for some other band that I can never remember the name to - and fell in love. I can listen to two of their songs over and over and over and over without getting sick of them. Drunken Lament and Love Me Dead are two of the best songs I have ever heard, and I am super excited to receive their CD in the mail in a week or so. Until then, I will continually listen to their music through their website.
  5. Blogs. I check them constantly for any update on my friends. It is so exciting to finally have a way to know what is going on without talking to your friends... lol. I really do love reading about the random things that happen, or thoughts that occur to my awesome friends.
  6. Mangoes. Mango sorbet, Mango frozen fruit cup, fresh mango. Mango inside jokes. Yum. I just love them.
  7. Spending money. Very detrimental to trying to save for tuition. But I love to spend money. On myself, on my friends, on my family. For the company. It doesn't matter whose little plastic card or paper money I am swiping or passing over to be put in the cash register. I love to do it. I love that if I type in a number, it automatically puts a new little present in the mail for me to receive in 7-10 days. I love the fact that a few coins can get me a bag of Gardetto's from the vending machine. It is wonderful. I just wish I had more of it.
  8. The sun. And with that, supposedly comes warm weather. Although, it has been really deceiving lately. I look outside and see the beautiful buds on the trees, the tulips, the blue skies, and the bright sunshine and walk outside to into the bitterly cold wind. What's up with that? I'm completely irritated with the cold. But, we are getting to the end of it. I'm sure of it (no proof, just going on instinct and 22 years of experience) and the warm weather will be upon us!
  9. Eva Ibbotson. My new favorite author. I'm not usually a big fan of detail, but she does a wonderful job. I've bought three of her books, and I'm waiting for the fourth to arrive.
  10. The Finer Things Club. This is a new club that we've started at work. It is the reason for me allowing myself to buy another Ibbotson book because it involves a book club. We get to go eat at wonderful new restaurants. And we are really a club, with motions (votes) and soon to have a blog of our own.
  11. Basketball. This is a love that runs in my blood. But with the Jazz doing well this season. The opportunity to watch it on the big screen in HD, and more free time than I am used to - I love it even more. I just wish I were friends with D. Will or Matt Hardring. Man, that would be awesome.
I love you too.

OH MY GOODNESS... I totally forgot. Here are some more:

  1. Chocolate and hazelnut. I think this may be the best combination in all the world. Chocolate and peanut butter comes in a close second. Very close. But there is something about chocolate and hazelnut that is so decadent. So delicious. And wonderful.
  2. Cary Grant and Katherine Hepburn. I absolutely love this combo. I love them separately and I especially love them together. One day when I am rich, I will purchase ALL of their movies and relish in their black and white simpleness while LOVING every second of their friendly banter with their co-stars. They are so funny, and so awesome. Every movie I've watched: The Philadelphia Story, Bringing Up Baby, etc. I've just loved them. Ah, Cary Grant... he's just dreamy.
  3. John Mayer, Michael Buble, Josh Groban, John Mayer... need I say more?
  4. Church. This sounds corny sometimes. But I swear, there is something so rejuvenating about spending Sunday the way you are supposed to. And something so comforting as to go to church knowing that the same thing is being taught in churches all around the world. (Give or take a few lessons...) I love our church. I don't think I can get into exactly how wonderful it really is, but honestly...
  5. Dresses. I gave up dresses when I was 12 years old in exchange for skirts and shirts. I haven't worn a dress, unless required (for graduation, weddings, etc) since. However, over the past few months, I have again tried the dress and found that it is very desirable. If you find a dress that fits and accentuates what it should, it can be quite delightful! The last couple of times I've gone to the store for new clothes, I've come out with a new dress. My newest acquisition is probably the most expensive item of clothing I've ever owned. However, I love it. I'm going to keep it. (Even if I haven't taken the tags off quite yet...)

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