Basically, you get desperate for something - and you are almost willing to accept anything.
Some people might call it compromising. Some might say that you are giving up. Whatever it is, if you are desperate enough for something, you are likely to rationalize ideals and promises and whatever it is that you think is keeping you from what you really want.
I have not got so desperate as to actually invoke any of this. But I've thought about it. And thinking about it is the first step - right? And that's what scares me.
I guess the only way I can explain this is through hypothetical examples.
- Desperation for graduation - So maybe you thought you would grow up to be a doctor. Doctors are considered to be successful. If you are a med student, you are usually looked at with respect and awe. There is a lot of work that needs to be put into becoming a doctor. But then you take a biology class - and it scares the pants off you. Doctor idea - out. You are desperate to graduate, the idea of being in school for 8-10 years is scary. So you choose a new major. For example, geography. Geography is a good major. It is also one of the shorter majors. You don't have to apply to a program. Done. Never mind that you don't know what you are going to do with said major.
- Desperation for a job - You've done your time in crappy jobs. Serving, small companies that favor nepotism, being a grocery checker! So you'd rather find a job that you enjoy, has nice co-workers, pays well...and it wouldn't hurt to have a few benefits and even a flexible schedule so you can travel when you want. But jobs like this just don't happen. (You usually have to know someone!) And so you go through the last few months living off of...say, a loan. The loan money is going to run out eventually. And then what? You need a job. Suddenly, you are looking at serving jobs. Never mind that you will have a B.S. in Global Studies - you apply to work as a receptionist for $7.50 an hour. If you get really desperate, soon you will start looking at the call-center jobs and salivate.
- Desperation for a baby - look, you've heard about biological clocks ticking. But that applies to 35 year old women, right? Wrong. You've been visiting the family wards and you see the pregnant bellies in the store and pass the playgrounds now that summer is upon us. There are strollers everywhere. And not to mention your friends who are growing at rates that you didn't realize was humanly possible. You've always wanted to be a mom. You've always wanted to have a big family. Now you're X years old, and you feel the pressure. Who's the last serious relationship you've had? Who was the last guy that actually thought you were worth asking out? Oh, it's So-and-So. Never mind that you are NOT attracted to him at all. He's not even funny. Or ambitious. You don't agree on anything, actually. And he kind of smells. But you think, "I bet if I hadn't blown him off, I could be dating him now!" Or worse, "I wonder if I started to act interested in him, if he'd take the bait?" You're thinking that maybe he isn't really that bad. And how awful could it really be to kiss the guy? (Ignore that bit of bile that just came up on the last thought.) You're desperate.
- Desperate to stay young - I had to put this one in here just because I live in Utah where 50-year old women are wearing clothes out of the Juniors' department and going through all sorts of routines in order to look like their 14-year old daughters. It applies to those of us still in our 20s, who are still trying to mooch off of parents, or are merely playing house instead of acting like responsible adults. Aging is a privilege. We're lucky to be alive. We're lucky to be getting life experiences as we age. If you live right, you only get smarter as you go. Those that are holding on to every shred of their youth - it's ridiculous. Now, for those who have already died because they think they are old, even when they have plenty of good years left - that's just desperation to die. It is equally pathetic.
Like I said, I haven't experienced this. These are all hypothetical situations. But could you see yourself making compromises out of desperation? Don't do it. It's not worth it!