I'm not sure how many people know my opinion on this. I don't know how many times I've actually given this opinion...no, longing...a voice. But I imagine that there will be those that will try to offer comfort or advice - something - in order to get me to change my mind. Will.Not.Happen. My desires on this particular topic are pretty much cemented.*
So after this preface, dear reader, you are wondering what I am going on about. And so, I will quote Oscar Wilde, who said, "The heart was meant to be broken."
Meant to be broken. I'm sure he uttered these words after his had been broken. Or perhaps he just witnessed his sister's broken heart. Or maybe he was completely cruel, and when his now ex-lover was crying, "You're breaking my heart!" he coldly turned down the stairs of her front porch, said that hearts were meant to be as such, and walked out of her life for good. I really don't know the context. But I think, that if hearts were meant to be broken, and mine never has been (and is no where in the vicinity of coming close) - I am missing out.
I'm not counting the times when my heart has broken for someone. And I don't think Oscar meant that either. Whenever my brother thinks that he is worth nothing or doesn't deserve love - my heart breaks for him. Whenever I hear about someone on the new losing a mother or father or child - my heart breaks for that family. This is not what I am talking about.
I'm talking about the pain and suffering that comes from being rejected or breaking up. The kind that emotionally scars people - eventually making them better people - and makes it hard for them to trust or love again. The kind of heartbreak that eventually leads to you wanting to key his car. Then in some sort of nostalgic manner, burn everything he ever gave you.
But why would anyone want to subject themselves to that?!
Here are my thoughts:
- Breaking up with someone means that you were actually in a relationship
- Relationships - especially ones that don't last - are extremely educational, you learn so much about life and human nature
- Overcoming heartbreak makes the human spirit stronger.
- Once you have an ex, your world is open to topics of conversation that you were previously excluded/unable to contribute to - everyone should have "ex" stories.
- You can provide a sort of empathy to the next person you meet who is going through something similar - it just doesn't do to have someone crying on your shoulder about lost love when you don't comprehend. In your mind you're thinking, "Just get over it." "It wasn't meant to be." etc. But having gone through the experience yourself, you can offer empathy.
- Personally - I could use a little "cool down" period. A time in my life where romance, love and mush didn't appeal to me. I could use a little "man-hating" time. Like Picasso's Blue Period, only it would be "Shelli's Man-Hating Period." Because, really...I don't hate them at all right now.
*I forgot to say that, of course, I would take a HEA (happily ever after) over a broken heart. I'm not going to sabotage something that might come along that would be great...just in order to have my heart broken. That would just be stupid.