Change

Change is against my very nature.

It lacks spontaneity. It requires time and effort. If I could decide to change and then be changed in 5 minutes, I think it would go over a lot better.

If I could decide to change and begin working towards making that change, instead of having to sleep on it, instead of having to continue to live the remaining facets of my life, I could do it.

Unfortunately, change doesn't happen over night. It doesn't happen on the impulse of the decision. And no matter how much you wish it, if you don't make the necessary mini-changes, the BIG change will never happen.

But how do you know which little mini-changes will be just what you need to make the bigger changes? Why can't you set a timeline and know when the actual change will take place for good? Why is it so tempting to look back - and why does looking back have to be a stumbling block every time in which the change needs to then start from the beginning?

This is why I'm not good at making the changes I KNOW I need to make. Because I know that they need to be made - but I don't know how to make them stick.