Sunday, May 22, 2011

The Spider that Disrupted Everything

Today was a rough day.

Not in a bad way, I guess. But I only allowed 20 minutes to get ready for church and then we had to park further down the hill of death than usual. So after huffing and puffing our way to the chapel (also known as the science building on campus) we listened to a few talks, some girl play the piano (amazingly) and began our Marriage/Family/Relationship/Dating class.

The class was going pretty well....and then a giant, fuzzy, black, fatty spider started crawling near my feet. But not close enough to my feet that I could kill him, just out of reach that I couldn't get to him, but close enough to give me the jibblies.

Normally, I am not afraid of spiders. I am perfectly capable of taking care of them myself. I'm pretty content to leave them alone, as long as they don't infiltrate my house and stay out of my way. On the chance that I do encounter a spider, I have a ritualistic heebie-jeebie dance that I do before squashing the thing.

Church is no place for a heebie-jeebie dance and shout of triumph after the victim's guts are spread across your shoe.

I kept an eye on it for a few minutes, but it was really giving me the creepy-crawlies. After all, it's one of those furry jumping spiders! And I had no idea where it would decide to go, and was that a spider that just crawled on my legs?!... no, it was just a phantom one playing mind tricks with me.

I decided to enlist the guy sitting two seats down from me. He quickly took to task with his shoe, trying to catch the litter bugger, but it was much too quick for him.

After a moment, the row behind us was involved. Laughing at the non-progress we were making in taking care of the hairy beast. And then it climbed the legs of the chair in front of me, and was residing on the seat (we have stadium-like seating) staring at us with his creepy green eyes - taunting us. We tried to pull the seat closer; a tissue from the row behind us was donated to dispose of the spider... and then he took off.

At this point, the six or seven of us that were invested in the location of the spider had gotten beyond the point of trying to pay attention to the teachers and were more concerned about the spider's movements. I felt bad that we were being so disruptive, but I didn't want that thing jumping on me!

The teacher caught on, saw the spider and asked who the "arachnophobic one" was. They all pointed to me. I'm not really that scared of them, just grossed out! But he admitted that the spider was gross; and well on its way away from us.

He had escaped our death sentence.

After class ended, though, the teacher took it upon himself to smash the littler bugger. And since we have Relief Society in the same room...

I can't say I'm not happy about that.


  1. I'm wondering if it's the same spider that bit me 4 times in my sleep...?

    Glad the b@$t@-d is dead!

  2. Oh goodness, that was the funniest Sunday School experience I've had in a long time. Sorry, that the three of us behind you became even more disruptive... but hey, that was the thing was huge and fuzzy.


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