A few years ago, when a friend of mine learned something about her then-boyfriend, she had to sit back and think as to whether or not she could handle what she had learned, or if she should cut her losses and move on.
It happens a lot. People make mistakes, and when it comes to finding a partner or spouse, you have to look at the past and decide what you can handle and what you can not. I don't think it makes you a bad person if you can't overlook someone's past, even though a lot of people are quick to put the "JUDGMENTAL" label on you, and make you out to be the bad person.
A long time ago, if someone had suggested that I might marry a guy who hadn't served a mission because he was boozing it up or sleeping around when he should have been preaching the gospel, I would have shuddered and adverted my eyes. That wasn't something I wanted.
I was also pretty self-righteous back then.
As I've gotten older, I've made more mistakes and realized that people aren't perfect. And while we are striving to become so, we can't expected to make it through life without the scrapes and bruises of making mistakes - living, learning and moving on.
So I changed my ideals. As long as my potential spouse was worthy to take me to the temple - despite anything that might have been done in the past - as long as he was currently in good standing with the Lord, then it didn't matter.
I was talking to Melissa, though, and I guess there are a few things that I might not be able to live with. What if he had been in jail? Would it matter that he had served his sentence, got off with good behavior and had a temple recommend?
Honestly, I don't know if I could handle that.