Monday, June 20, 2011

Get Thee Hence

I have a confession:

I don't pray or read my scriptures like I'm supposed to. Like I really, truly want to.

I try to rationalize it. Because in my "good" phases, when I'm reading and praying the most, I think that I'm also facing more temptations and controversy in my life. Sometimes when I pray, the opposite thing happens. Or things get worse instead of better. Sometimes I think it is just better when I don't pray and read my scriptures, because then maybe I fall off of Satan's radar, and he doesn't focus all his attentions on me.

Like, if I manage to keep away from the "bad" things, and just barely get by with the "good" things, then I can float by and be OK.

But then, and not necessarily because (but certainly it doesn't help) I'm not doing those things, I feel myself falling into this pit of restlessness and become this bitter, mid-single harpy with no hope of things changing... and I just had an epiphany.

Satan is pretty good at using those emotions, too.

I know it isn't all him. Obviously, I have work that I'm to be doing that I'm just, not. But I can't escape him. And that, I know, is what prayer and scriptures are for.

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