Read Between the Lines

Remember how once upon a time, I got roped into an online dating website with a required six month subscription (!) that every once and a while, for curiosity's sake, I get on and see what's going on? Tonight was just such a night that I logged on and immediately some dude starts talking to me.

Now, this isn't the first time said dude has started a conversation with me, but he couldn't remember. "Have I talked to you before?" He asked.

I must be very memorable.

Anyway, I told him that he had and he asked me what was "new", so I told him that I started a new workout regime, that I'm only two weeks in and he's like, "Ooooh. Can I see your new bod?"

Um, sir? It's been two weeks. I'm just lucky that I'm back to my starting weight from before the holidays.

Then after a few moments of silence (I was tinkering away with my new webcam, largely ignoring the chat window, but not wanting to be rude and just sign out), he sends me this little invitation:

"Want to come over watch a movie and snuggle? I'm cold."
"Er...actually, I'm about to go hit the showers and then go to bed."
"We can just watch a movie and fall asleep to it."
"That doesn't seem very responsible. I have work in the morning."
"I'm sure we won't be awake for long. I promise I won't try to kiss you or anything."
"That seems silly. You're so far away, and my bed it like, 3 ft. away from me."
"Where do you live again? I'm in Provo, too."

..."I think you should probably just read between the lines and see that I'm trying to say "NO THANKS.""

"Rude."

*Internal sigh*

"Not rude. Honest. G'Night." 

Only 39 more days, and I am done with this subscription. Thank goodness.