ER

Last Thursday, I worked for an hour before I had to go home. On Friday, I went to the emergency room under direction of my doctor. I wouldn't have done it - and I shouldn't have - except, this is something they tell me ALL the time, and I always resist.

Remember that one time my roommate and I decided to make baked goods for boys to prove that that actually isn't the way to get dates? (No? http://shellmarie.blogspot.com/2011/04/trying-to-be-obedient.html) My visit to the ER was kind of like that. I knew that it would be a waste of time and money, but I was sick of hearing that I needed to go and I was sick of dealing with...well, what I was dealing with.

So I went to the ER, and I didn't have to wait even one second in the waiting room, which surprised me. A few nights before that, I had watched this whole video documentary on emergency rooms and saw the pain and suffering of people that go to the ER because they don't have insurance and what not. It made me cry no less than three times. Anyway, they got me in the system (spelled my name wrong) and then I waited. The doctor came in pretty quickly, especially when compared to the rest of the day, and we discussed what was going on. He decided that he wanted an on-call doctor to come see me, so in the meantime, I was to provide blood for my blood work and urine for my pee test.

The lady who did the blood work was not very bright. The whole time I was texting Amy (a phlebotomist of her own right) and sending her pictures of this woman's work. First, she chose to work on my right arm. I warned her that people often have a hard time getting my right arm to cooperate. She didn't let that phase her, instead she picked a vein off to the side and pushed and prodded and got five out of the six tubes of blood required by the dock. It was the most painful draw I have ever experienced. Let's not forget that I have my blood work done pretty frequently - I mean, I have throughout my life, and just recently was on Accutane, which meant monthly blood work. If the fact that this woman hadn't mutilated my arm weren't enough, she also told me that I probably only got my job because I was a girl, and because companies need a certain amount of minorities in their company, and ergo, that was why I was hired. (She later apologized for that little comment.)

When she got me set up for the IV I never needed, she decided to use my left arm. There's barely a mark on my left arm, where she had zero problems finding a vein... I'm just saying. She did have a little bit of an issue putting the needle all the way in, which was just a titch painful whenever I bent my arm to use it... but, at least she found the vein!

I was pretty bored in the ER. There's not really a lot on television during the day. I would have watched Ellen, but her guest was Puff Daddy - P Diddy - whoever the heck he is. I didn't care. So I switched the TV to some musical station and tried to read on my phone. Unfortunately, the book I was reading wasn't very good. And oh, I was naked! except for my hospital gown. That was awkward.

The worst part, besides knowing that I had just spent $100 on a deductible I couldn't really afford, was the catheter. They wanted a "clean" urine sample, and so peeing in a cup was not an option. (Or, it had been an option until there was a shift switch and one nurse wouldn't let me get away with it!) It was maybe not as bad as I thought it was going to be, but it was definitely not a good time.

By that time, I had been in the hospital for four hours. FOUR HOURS and all they did was mutilate my arm and get a pee sample. The on-call doctor was nowhere to be seen, and finally in the fifth hour, the original ER doctor came in, did a quick exam, gave me a prescription for two days at home for rest and another one for pain pills that I didn't ask for.

I left the hospital and only then remembered that I should have asked for them to do some imaging - as that was one of the reasons my doctor had encouraged me to go to the ER in the first place. I set up an appointment with the no-show on-call doctor, and was on my not-so-merry way.

I proved myself right, though. Emergency rooms are strictly for when your organs are falling out, or your limbs are falling off. I will never go there voluntarily again. Instacare for me, all the way. That, or no doctors at all.

Saturday I made a really dumb decision to go horseback riding. Horrible. Terrible decision. It was a pretty day, though, so I can't begrudge the fact that I spent a day in nice weather instead of holed up in my room like I did for the rest of the weekend, Monday, and Tuesday. Luckily, my appointment with the doctor was somewhat a success, and after over dosing on the pills she gave me, I'm happy to say that last night I had the first good night's sleep I've had in over a week, and I'm feeling much better. Hooray.

Lessons from the Married Folk

Several years ago, one of my dearest friends called and told me that she had started dating a guy. It was obvious withing minutes that she was head over heels. I happily listened as she talked about him and his personality and my dismissive thoughts were quickly replaced with thinking that this was probably going to "work out."

I initially dismissed the relationship because they were both very young. He hadn't served his mission. I wanted her to graduate, have the chance to explore the world, and do crazy and fun things.

The more I listened, the more I realized how mature their relationship was. The clincher was when she told me of how he had offended or hurt her by an action or something he said, and instead of bottling it up like I would have thought she would do, she confronted him. And instead of getting defensive or dismissing her, he validated her feelings, apologized, and promised to never do it again.

What?!

I was so stunned. These were 18-year old kids! I knew people ten years older that wouldn't have handled the situation as well as they did. I still don't know if I would have - being on either end. But that's when I knew. I knew they were going to get married. And I knew they were going to make it. He served his mission, and she waited. He took a job at home, and she waited. And when they got married, it was one of the best weddings I'd ever been to. I'm sure it's been an adjustment, and yet, they are happy.

I think it's important to be in a relationship where you feel safe to bring up your frustrations, and talk about what hurts you and makes you feel bad. If you don't feel safe doing that - if you feel like the person is going to get upset, or leave, then you need to reevaluate. I think it's a good indication in dating, especially, that if you can't bring to attention something that the other person is doing is making you crazy or hurting your feelings, that that person is not the one for you. It's never easy to confront someone on their alleged poor behavior, but... you have to be able to do it. And on the other hand, you need to allow for others to come to you and voice concerns and unhappiness at what you do. We are all imperfect, and we all make mistakes, it's so much better in the long run to be able to look at something, apologize, and try to never do it again.


I am still blown away that I learned that from someone so young, and yet, it's one of the many lessons I've picked up as I've observed successful couples interact with each other.

Smartie Pants

The other day I was talking about men and the lack of potential date-able men in my life, and my friend commented that she would love to set me up with some, but that she didn't think she knew any guys that were smart enough.

For some reason this struck a chord.

I've never felt like I am incredibly intelligent. Not to say that I think I'm dumb, because I know I'm not. But I have never felt as though I am smarter than most. I often feel ignorant about different topics (politics, math, the economy, personal finances, etc.) and I'm not nearly as smart as a lot of my friends.

But I think that is the point. I like to surround myself with intelligent people. And even though some of my close friends are not "book smart", they are geniuses in their own right. And I appreciate that.

Intelligence is important to me. I don't know why I'm just now discovering it. I've always liked guys that I felt were smarter than me, because I liked that they could teach me things. I don't want someone who lords it over my head, and becomes patronizing or disrespectful because they think they are not only smarter than me, but also everyone in the whole wide world (I've known people like this that I can't stand).

It bothers me when people are proud of the fact that they don't read. Or if they are uncommonly simple minded, and don't want to do anything about it.

So yes, I guess I do want a man with some brains.

Utah

This year, I truly fell in love with Utah. I've liked living here these past years (nine years...nine), but I've always joined the throngs of transplants that long for home, and dis on Utah. But something changed this year. My friends and I have traveled in different areas of Utah - from Moab, to the Salt Flats, to Scenic Byway UT-150, through Logan Canyon to Bear Lake, eastern Utah in Vernal, and even Antelope Island nearby and of course the hundreds of miles driven to get to all of these places, somewhere between all of this, I really did fall in love.

Even though we are unseasonably cold today, I have truly enjoyed the last few weeks we've had of gorgeous fall weather. I love fall in Utah. It rejuvenates my soul. It makes me love Utah even more. So bring it winter! I've got my Christmas tree up, and it's harvest-themed decorated, with the cutest turkey ornaments I could have ever wished for.