Observations

One of the points of writing a blog is to allow people to get to know you. Things that the reader may never learn with basic interaction can be unfolded through a small posting at 2:21 a.m., and really, I think it is the most fun this way.

As I traverse through this life of mine, I am prone to introspect and learn things about myself, that I don't think others would know unless I really told them. Some of the more embarrassing discoveries, I'll keep to myself...for now, and others, I will share.

1. I fall to sleep with my hands by my face. I don't know when this started. I can't remember having always done it, but I was watching a movie or something and some incredibly untalented actor pulled her hands to her face - resting just under the cheek that lay on the pillow, and I thought...no one sleeps like that. Untrue. I sleep like that. In fact, I wake up with my hands uncomfortable swollen and asleep because they have been smashed by my face. It's most comfortable for falling asleep (especially when my fingers are a bit cold, the coolness feels marvelous on my cheeks) and most uncomfortable when I awake. I continue to do it, regardless.
2. I absolutely abhor getting ready for bed. It's why I'm still awake at this hour. If I could just crawl into my bed, sans brushing my teeth, wrestling with the decision to don the retainers or not, washing my fact, etc. etc. I would. But as it is, I have several things before actually retiring that must be done, and I am avoiding them. I've been a procrastinator my whole life - I don't see why my bedtime routine would be any different. (I know, Dad, it's retarded. Really. I do, understand...)
3. My life plan changes almost daily. Have we had this discussion before? I'm sure we have. Currently, I am set to graduate after spring term with a B.S. (this is ironic to me, as I have always prided myself in being able to spout all sorts of BS for essays, papers, etc.) of Geography in global studies. However, since I will not be attending grad school (at least not with the current life plan), it is very difficult to say what I will be doing next. Perhaps I will attempt to get a job at an airport, so I may fly for free. This is a brilliant idea. And then I want to attend nursing school so that I would work as a labor and delivery nurse. I think that would be marvelous. And then, I have thought that perhaps I would like to go to hair school. I think being able to do hair is quite a talent and skill that I just HAVE to have. Can you imagine the benefit of being able to do your daughters' hair without forking out $80 every time? Plus, you meet friends at school who are able to do your own hair, or at least, you learn how to do it so you can do it yourself. I have a hairstylist, and she is fantastic. However, she is in Michigan; and I don't know that we'll ever live in the same state again. It would certainly be convenient if I had someone else I trusted to do my hair. Besides, wouldn't it be great if I could figure out what to do for Mackenzie's hair? I think so. After that, maybe I'll get married. I've always thought I'd be married by now. Of course, I never wanted to admit that I was one of those girls that would get married at 18 or 19 and begin popping out babies. That wasn't really the reason I came to BYU. But...actually... I could have just been lying to myself. It has been noted, that I have been quite ready (or at least in my head have been) to be married since I was 16 or something. I quite fancied myself to be in love with Elder Jensen, and had he not had a girlfriend waiting for him when he got back, I think we could have married. HA! Well, in my head we could have.
   
4. I absolutely detest a filthy bathroom and a messy kitchen. However, I thrive on the clutter in my room. I don't know what it is. I like not folding my laundry and not putting it away. I detest laundry. I only do it because I LOVE the smell of clean clothes, and frankly, because it is gross not to. Really. Clutter does not bother me, though. And I can not - for the life of me - understand how someone who loathes clutter can tolerate a spotty faucet, footprints in the bathtub, or crumbs on the kitchen counter. It is beyond fathomability. (Obviously not a word, but I think I like it...)
5. It doesn't take a lot to gain my admiration. I'm really quite conceited (something I never realized until just now.) I. Am. Conceited. Hmmm... imagine that. I am incredibly self conscious, and often possess a low self-esteem. But I like when people talk to me, and more importantly about me. I don't own a lot of life experiences, or grand stories. I am not often witty and funny, and only know very minor details on things that would be considered intelligent conversations. However, I like to talk about myself. Much more, I like when people show an interest in me. I realize that this is basically innate. But some people like it more than others, and I think that if anyone wants to win my affections, they merely need to take the time to ask about me sincerely. Case and point, my roommate's boyfriend. He has made it a point to question me about a certain guy I like. Not every time I see him, but often enough to check the status and recent developments to show that he cares what is going on in my life. My old bishop remembered that I had had a bishop that didn't remember my name, ever, and so he would go out of his way to make sure I knew that he knew who I was. I was thrilled. The Mexican guy we delivered Christmas presents to last night, tried so hard to include me in the conversation by speaking English, even though he COULDN'T (I had to mentally turn on my brain to try and understand what he was saying) and I was so completely touched by his sensitivity. And, this conceit is the only thing that allows my crushes to linger for longer than a fleeting second.
6. I am a romantic. I know you all know this. I have made absolutely no attempt to cover it up. I try to balance my...sheesh, is there even a word for it? I try to balance my wild immagination and heart's desires with practicality and a more realistic sense of what life is about - what love and marriage and companionship is about. I try. And there is a side of me that knows. I know. I know that life and marriage and having a family and love is complicated and hard, and work. I know that things are not perfect. And life is not magically transformed when you meet the person you are going to marry, or when you marry said person. I know that people don't really feel their bones dissolve with a simple kiss, or quite literally feel butterflies for the rest of their life. I don't even think that there is such thing that getting carried away with some passionate moment... I mean, it sounds so cliche. But still, I can't help but hope... but think... one day. It has to happen for me. Right? That's why it is taking so long. And by so long, I mean that of course, why it hasn't happened by the time I turned 19. After all, I'm sure that my soon-to-be 16-year old brother has had more experience with girlfriends than I have with boyfriends. (Not something I should admit to cyberspace, on a blog read by my parents and grandparents...but I can't help it. You have to feel a bit of pity for a 23-year old girl duped by her much younger brother, right?) And so... it has to happen. One day, I am going to be blissfully happy with some man (a REAL man) that turns my knees to jell-o. And if you don't believe that, keep you opinions to yourself. I can't think otherwise. Not yet. Maybe if I'm 40 and unmarried, I contemplate thinking something differently. Until then...
7. Church starts a half hour later tomorrow than normal. I am not sure how this half hour change is going to make all the difference as I am now going to bed at a much later hour than I ever should contemplate before attending church. I shall retire immediately...that is, after I've brushed my teeth, convinced myself NOT to pick my face despite its looking like that of a leper, wrestled with the decision to wear my retainers (I think not) and washed my face, etc. etc.
   

DONE and DONE!

This may have been the best semester I've had at BYU. After three years, I think I deserve it. I don't know what it was... but everything seemed different.

1. I didn't work full-time. Granted, that meant having to accept a generous donation from each one of my aunts and uncles in order to pay off the rest of my tuition - but I some how made it through with their help, and the help of my parents.
   
2. I didn't want to transfer. I didn't even think about it! Of course, it might be because I am so dang close, that thinking of transfer would be insane. But on top of that, I LOVED my classes and I never felt completely overwhelmed.
3. I had friends and a SOCIAL LIFE! It was amazing. I did homework, and yet I still had time to play. I've never had so many friends in all of my life, and I've been having SO MUCH fun!
4. I can absolutely see the end of this adventure called BYU. I can't believe it, only two more semesters.
5. I didn't have to email my teachers asking for an extension or forgiveness, I turned in everything and on time and I'm not stressing about my grades. Whatever I get, I'll be pretty pleased with it.
   
6. I got A's (A's!!!) on tests and projects and papers...
   
7. I was able to actively do my calling at church; and I enjoyed it! Not only that but I did dinner group and church activities. Whoa. Participation - who knew how much it enriched your life?
   
8. I had FRIENDS IN CLASS! Which meant studying with people... actually studying. Holy cow!
   
9. I LOVED my classes. I can't believe how much I actually enjoy my major, and the classes in my major. I was expecting to HATE political geography, and it turned out to be totally cool. I like it. I like geography. Amazing.
10. I'm done! I finished! I don't have to worry about school until January 5, 2009. Oh man!
    

This is wonderful!

My Mom is Cooler than your Mom

Today... is my mom's birthday.

I'm sure that she doesn't want to be reminded, mostly because birthdays are not a HUGE thing at my house, and sometimes it is just a reminder that perhaps even though we are a year older, nothing much has changed. I won't make an annoucement as to how old she is...becuase some people don't like that. What I will do, is explain to her why I love her so gosh dang much.

1. My mom is my best friend. The absolute best friend in the entire world.
2. My mom is a great listener. She will pick up the phone 9 out of 10 times when I call her, and then proceed to listen for at least an hour of what is going on in my life. Everyday.
3. My mom cares about her kids.
4. My mom is generous. With her time, with what little money she has. My mom will give her kids everything. And does, on a quite regular basis.
5. My mom is talented. From baking to decorating cakes, to keeping the house clean, to staying up all night helping with projects she knows nothing about... I don't know, she can figure out ANYTHING and do it.
6. My mom is handy. It must be from living with my dad, but she's learned how to roof a house, fix disposals, build shelves, hang drywall, putty walls, install tile (ok, maybe Dad did that...)
7. My mom is prayerful. I know she hits her knees hard, every night. Mostly praying for the sake of her kids, which we all appreciate (whether we know we do or not).
8. My mom is funny. Need I say more? We laugh, a lot.
9. My mom is patient. When she has five kids, who are all as idiotic as the first, it takes a lot of patience.
10. My mom is forgiving. We don't treat her the way she deserves to be treated, always, and yet, she still lets us come back. Amazing.
11. My mom is peacekeeping.
12. My mom is clean. Thank you for teaching me how to have a clean bathroom. And that you need a clean kitchen to cook in. I am a little sorry that I never picked up on the clean bedroom thing.
13. My mom is loyal.
14. My mom is a hard worker.
15. My mom is a good daughter.
16. My mom is loved by everyone - I don't know a single person who doesn't like her, and who wouldn't? Honestly, she is the coolest.
17. My mom is sporty. From attending all of my brothers' and sisters' football, basketball, and soccer games, she knows a little bit about sports. But on top of that, she is a mean raquetball player and used to play basketball, volleyball, and (sometimes still does) softball.
18. My mom is a cheerleader. See above. And then know, that my mom would go to my dad's games that he refereed and would be in the stands cheering for him.
19. My mom sets traditions by not setting traditions. We never know when we are going to put up the Christmas tree, but that doesn't matter - it's whenever we feel like it.
20. My mom has a testimony of the true Church of Jesus Christ. This shouldn't be number 20, it's so important.
21. My mom knows how to do Thanksgiving the RIGHT way.
22. My mom loves her parents.
23. My mom gives good directions. Even if she is 2,000 miles away, she can still get me to the Bishop's house in Lindon. Amazing.
24. My mom is a confidant. I can talk to her about ANYTHING and EVERYTHING. And often do...twice.
25. My mom knows how to make food, the right way. I don't care what you say, if pecan pie, crescent rolls, cake frosting, strawberry pie, and chili aren't made the way my mom makes them...they're wrong.
26. My mom likes to try new things - sometimes it takes a little persuasion, but she'll do it.
27. My mom will go on all the rides.
28. My mom is beautiful.
29. My mom is a good travel buddy.
30. My mom is helpful.
31. My mom is sensitive.
32. My mom is temple worthy.
33. My mom has great taste in men. Have you met my dad? He's pretty fantastic.
34. My mom is spontaneous. I always love when she decides that it is time to switch the furniture around. I get that from her.
35. My mom is wise. Even if I don't listen... I often find, she knows her stuff.
36. My mom is a good wife. Faithful, true, and she knows who her priority is. I think my husband will be very grateful to my mom for showing me who really matters in life.
37. My mom is a trooper. With back problems, lack of sleep, or whatever ailment, she's still up and moving around doing whatever needs to be done.
38. My mom is exclusive. She has her small group of friends, and likes it that way. And it's no coincidence that at family reunions, our family all stays together in the same cabin or with each other. We're pretty tight-knit and it's because of her.
39. My mom has good taste in music - mostly, because she lets me listen to what I want to in the car. Whether she listens to the same stuff or not when I'm out, there would be know way of knowing... (I'll just overlook the Keith Urban CD in your car.)
40. My mom is faithful.
41. My mom is obedient.
42. My mom is cool.
43. My mom is good to have around at a doctor's appointment. Let's just cut to the chase, it's the real reason I don't go to the doctor - because she isn't around. Hehe
44. My mom is easy to be around. I don't think I could ever get sick of her. In fact, I wish she were here with me RIGHT NOW.
45. My mom is absolutely, the most wonderful person on the face of this earth.

I love you Mom. I hope you have a good day, even though you are working; even though you are poor; and even though I am not home to celebrate with you for the fourth year in a row. I miss you, but you know I am thinking about you all of the time. Else, why would I call so much?



Talk to you soon...

Family Home Evening

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Currently, my calling in church is that of Family Home Evening (FHE) "mom." It's always been one of those callings that I dreaded, and honestly never wanted to receive. However, if that were really the case, you would think I would have been more willing to attend FHE in the past. I am notorious for receiving callings that requires me to do something I don't usually go. (As seen with previous callings such as Enrichment leader, seconds counselor in the Relief Society - who happens to be OVER enrichment, etc.) So when I received the calling at the beginning of the summer, I was a little chagrined to do it. Only, I was given a pretty good group and a good co-chair (also known as the "dad") and it was very unlike the experience Amy and I had when she was the FHE mom when we lived at Branbury.

I was having fun.

When groups changed at the beginning of fall semester, I was very sad to see my group split - but for like, two seconds. Our FHE group is simply the very best a "mom" could ask for. We have excellent attendance rates (though I am still missing some of my "kids" on a regular basis...) and we have a lot of fun.

The very first activity we did was for Halloween. Instead of decorating pumpkins like all the other groups, we decided we wanted to find a pumpkin patch. When no patches were to be found, we settled for sneaking into HeeHaw Farms and playing on their hay slide. When I realized that my group was willing to break the rules for me, or for the sake of free and fun, I realized we would get along great. We escaped without having to bail anyone out of HeeHaw jail, and thus began our fun semester.

Other activities have included making hand turkeys. Which I wish we had taken pictures of, because they were fantastic. Riding in the car without our seatbelts (we are rule-breakers, afterall) and playing get to know you games. The more I've gotten to know my family, the more I just like them! They are hilarious, and always game for just about anything Colin and I prepare. And I really appreciate that.

When it was suggested that the groups change to accommodate the changing semester, Colin and I equally had a fit. We were very clear about how much we love our family, and that we do NOT want to see it changed. I've really enjoyed working with Colin, he's been an excellent "dad" or co-chair, and has been so dedicated to this family and to his calling. It's made me want to be a better FHE leader, which is saying something - considering, I didn't take the calling all that seriously.

Hopefully, we will get to keep our family as is. But if not, I am thinking that this ward is so full of awesome people, that it might not matter. No, I take that back. I would be devastated if they changed out groups. But I think I would be able to get over the separation anxiety that changing groups would entail - just in time to be put back in enrichment.

Twilight Movie Review

Becca and I went and saw the matinee on the Friday after it came out...or the Friday it did come out, I suppose. Anyway, I was very glad that we didn't try and sit in the front of the theater, or have to wait in line for an hour before the show in order to get a seat or whatever. We had decent seats, only surrounded by people still in their pajamas and with blankets wrapped around them (it was 11 a.m.) and I hoped very much that there wouldn't be screaming, squealing, or basic raucous when Edward appeared on screen, or Alice or any of them. I was nervous that I would have to deal with over excitement and giggling the whole way through. There were only two or three people that I really wanted to maim during the whole movie. I was surprised at the low number.

As you know, I've been keeping a close eye on the whole movie and its production. I've watched every clip and outtake, scene the stills, and basically anything that was posted on the internet. I checked faithfully every Twilight Tuesday for interviews with the actors and like such as. I knew the movie was going to not be everything that it could be - everything the book was. Mostly because the screenwriter was not credible. She should not have been entrusted with Edward and Bella and the Cullens as a whole. I think if they had a different screenwriter, the movie would have been fantastic. As it was, we had to deal with uncharacteristic phrases like, "It was an adrenaline rush. You can Google it." *rolls eyes dramatically*

Still, knowing that this movie was going to suck - I couldn't stop myself from giggling like several of the annoying extremists in the theater when Charlie cocked his gun before meeting Edward or when Edward jumps from Bella's truck and she scolds him because she has neighbors. I really did like the scene when Edward is wearing his little raybans (is that what they are called - the really neat sunglasses?) and escorting Bella to class while everyone stares... of course, it was ruined when Angela says, "Oh. My. God..." and then Becca leans over and recites the rest, "...Becky, look at her butt!" The way Bella discovers Edwards was a vampire was terribly rushed. Of course, it had to be...but still. I see why they condensed scenes and combined them. They didn't need Jacob to explain all the legends, the Cold Ones...they needed a reason for Bella to break off from Jessica and Angela while shopping for dresses. And in the book, we can read Bella's mind, it's her story after all, but in the movie we can't - they had to set it up. Still, the restaurant scene is pivotal in the book. It's when she and Edwards are finally, nearly, completely honest with each other. And the waitress was ridiculous - did anybody notice how AWFUL her hair was? I did like the kitchen scene, although Esme was sort of goofy and Alice's "You do smell nice" was creepy. The Claire de Lune scene and scampering up the trees as if Edward was Spiderman instead of just an incredibly strong vampire was weird...and unnecessary. And yet, the scenery was beautiful. They chose an awesome location for filming. The meadow scene was also incredibly disappointing. It was supposed to be their first date. Planned. Instead it was some random skipping portions of school. I felt like they were trying to have this deeply spiritual, romantic moment and then they skipped off back to class. Not to mention, it was still dark and creepy a bit, whereas it was supposed to be a NICE day. The baseball scene was probably my favorite. Oh, and I was terribly disappointed with how easy it was for Bella to escape to the ballet studio. I mean, seriously, Alice and Jasper were strict prison guards, she was lucky to have gotten away in the book. And they just made them both so aloof. I don't know. It was sort of retarded. And yet I expected the whole movie to be. I was just hoping to be pleasantly surprised, and yet, I wasn't.

I think that Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart did a good job. I loved the guy that played Charlie, and that was really my favorite part. We got to see more of Bella's relationship with her dad. A lot of my favorite scenes had Charlie in it. Actually, I was pretty happy with the cast in general. I only hope that Taylor Lautner will rise to the occasion when he has a bigger part in New Moon. He was rough around the edges, and it didn't matter because he's not so important in Twilight. But next movie, he'll be critical. Do you think they'll get someone stronger and bigger for him after he phases? I suppose not. He might be OK.

In the end, having low expectations seemed key. Since I wasn't too terribly ecstatic about it (though, admittedly, got more so as the release date approached) I didn't have to worry about being let down. Still, it was Twilight. And I'm a Twilight addict. Therefore, I enjoyed it. I liked it - OK? I like Edward. Even in the movie when they give him uncharacteristic lines, and I had to laugh out loud at the "death glare" Robert Pattinson tries to deliver when he first smells Bella...it was ludicrous... I will inevitably own this movie. I will probably see it again when it comes to the dollar theater. Maybe twice - depending on who I can get to go with me.