I just pulled all of my financial information together on mint.com, and basically, what I am being told (as if I didn't already know) is that I spend too freely, don't pay enough on my credit cards, and that I will be in debt FOR THE REST. OF. MY. LIFE.
Or, actually, until 2017, if I cut out all gratuitous spending. Five years seems likes a long time. A really long time. Or maybe, not really that long, considering I've lived in Utah for eight years....
This post is depressing me.
I've decided that I really need to be grounded. I need to quit charging plane tickets, no matter how much I want to go home for Christmas, (and I need to be more careful about making my flights and scheduling the right itineraries, etc.).
No more eating out.
No more eating period.
No more books.
No more weekend movies. No more full-priced movies.
No more Wicked tickets. Or theater tickets of any kind. And certainly no more extravagant gifts. No more new clothes. Or shoes. Or make-up. Or jewelry.
Back to coloring my own hair. (Shudder. Cringe. Full-blown tantrum.) No more getting pedicures, manicures, and definitely no more considering the idea of waxing, massages, or any other unnecessary beauty treatment.
No more doctor's appointments. And I better not get sick, either, because I'm not going to pay for meds.
Fewer cleaning products. (I buy a surprisingly large amount of these.)
No more dinner parties. Or throwing parties.
If I don't go anywhere, except to work, I won't have to buy as much gas.
I can't keep buying episodes of Suits and Justified on Amazon.com.
No more gym membership (that I don't use, anyway).
Continue to live in student housing, since clearly I can't afford to live on my own, yet.
Basically, I need to lock myself up in a room without internet access, and not come out except to go to work and to church, and then hope, that by 2017, I will be debt-free and not too past my prime that there still might be a chance that I'll find someone to marry. Because, let's face it, if I cut yourself out of 90% of social activities because I can't afford to participate; stop getting my hair done (hello, grays!) and buying my good make-up, and let my eyebrows grow out and my nails to look nasty; stop enjoying all the things I really love, because I don't want to pay for it or feel restless and unhappy because I hate being cooped up in one place for too long...
Once I've done all of that, I might be debt-free, but I'll be a pretty scary shell of a person. Can you just imagine? I'd be... hairy (razors are expensive too, so we might as well just throw them out) with long toe nails and gnawed off fingernails, wearing my $9 WalMart glasses (probably with the wrong prescription), long gray hair, no make-up, raggedy clothes, and completely out of touch with reality. Also, 32 years old.
Yup, I'm definitely grounded. Maybe if I were to give up most of this stuff, then I could cut the five years down to three. The problem is: I know I did this to myself. I'm terrible about managing money. Budgeting is completely lost on me. So yeah, grounded.... No more. This has to end.
But first, I have to prepare for my trip to Hawaii. And I'm definitely going to need a new swimsuit for that. And a floppy hat...