Sunday, July 19, 2009

Hazing: "Polly, you get in my pocket!"

So Becca and I have been going to our new ward - count it: 3 times.

We've been trying to give off our aura of coolness and hilarity by showing up, looking happy, grinning foolishly and things like such as. But to no avail. The 203rd ward is trying desperately to keep us on the outside of ward activities. There is a secret list that you have to be on in order to get details concerning FHE and other ward functions. Ward prayer is held at the "Grassy Knoll" and Sunday School is found in the F wing of the HFAC in room 576. But we looked - the F wing of the HFAC doesn't have a room 576 - and we're pretty sure that there isn't a "Grassy Knoll" either.

Despite all of this, Becca and I decided that we needed to attend the Enrichment night activity that was to be held Friday night up in a "Cabin" in Midway. This special cabin is a magical place where all the relief society sisters get together and bond. We were really looking forward to getting there and making new friends in our ward.

So we turned down a party at 7 Peaks, a birthday party and a dance all to head up to this brilliant cabin. And what did we find when we got there?


There was nobody there. We swore we were lost, because certainly a bonding party doesn't include invisible people. And then we realized.

They got us.

After yelling every possible acronym we knew for swear words, threatening to set fire to all the barbies in our ward and running Polly over with the car, we realized that this must be our special initiation into the secret society that is the 203rd ward. Becca burned $10 worth of gas, but now we are in! We decided that it would be our "Good News" for the good news minute in relief society. Now, now that we had gone through the proper hazing - now that they knew that we were willing to put them in front of every other fun activity on a Friday night that we could have attended - we are in!

They canceled the good news minute today, of "coarse", (that's not how you spell "of course", Polly) and we weren't able to make our announcement. And by our announcement, I mean Becca's carefully prepared, and hilariously funny monologue. I hope that doesn't affect our standing in the secret society. Someone did spill the beans on where the "Grassy Knoll" is, too. So that's a good sign...

The point is: Becca and I are having a difficult time adjusting to this new ward. I have a hard time believing that not one person who watched us today literally wiping tears from our eyes from laughing so hard, could keep themselves away from the awesomeness that is Becca and Me.

Although, I can't really say anything too bad about the ward, because somebody just dropped the July Ensign on our front stoop just now - and I haven't had a physical copy since 2004. I think I'll go read that now.


  1. I cried laughing at this post. :)

    But if it helps, the Omni ward felt like that to me for a while. I seriously doubt there wasn't a secret list I should've been on. Orrrr NOT been on...huh. :)

  2. I don't know you--i followed your link in Brittany's post. But i, too laughed out loud when i read this.

    Thanks for sharing--it's nice to know that there are others that just don't automatically fit in as if they'd lived there for years. :)

  3. Oh Shelli, I love it. I love this post. I'm pretty sure we're supposed to be friends. This is pretty much how I feel all the time in every situation. That people are purposely trying to hide things from me. I live in a perpetual state of feeling left out. But I have to remember it's probably just because I sit on the back row by myself with something in the seat next to me so people don't sit there. You probably don't do that though. People probably just don't like you. ;)


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