Pioneer Day down the River of Love

I remember in school complaining when all the Catholics got to go to Ash Wednesday Mass and the Jewish kids got to leave school for their holidays, that Mormons should have holidays. My mom would make a vague reference to Pioneer day. I never considered it a real holiday because I didn't get out of school for it - and of course, the fact that no other Mormon I knew celebrated it. I think I got off work for Pioneer day last year, and that was cool. But this was the first year that I actually commemorated the Pioneer struggle...

The day started late - as most days often do lately - with Becca telling me that we were going to float down the Provo river, and I had three hours to mentally prepare for the adventure.

Now, I have only heard horror stories of floating down the Provo river. And despite the fact that the river is, at most, a stream in most places - I know two things about the river.

1. The river is pretty, and always seems to be running fairly fast.
2. The river is comprised of snow melt. Snow melt, glacial run-off = COLD WATER

Freezing water and a fast current = death trap. Especially for me. I've never been a particularly good swimmer (I don't think I ever passed a swim class...) and I'm not exactly in-shape. So, if something were to happen, I knew I would die. Take comfort, dear reader, despite the events that I am going to describe in the coming paragraphs, I did not die...I am alive and well to record the events.

Anyway, despite Becca's best efforts to plan and organize the event, everything was not running smoothly. The tubes blew off of Becca's car at the mouth of the canyon, there was a slight scare when Becca's car got backed into... there was a lot of waiting to try and get everyone together. DeeAura and I were terrified, and not particularly excited about the upcoming threat to our otherwise peaceful lives...

Entering the water was not so much shocking as it was expected. It. Was. Freezing. And while most people assume that sitting in a tube and letting the current carry you down to your desired location is fairly brainless, it didn't take long for things to go awry. DeeAura was almost immediately left behind. Nate, in trying to slow down and wait for us, popped his tube. I floated helplessly down the river, eventually acclimating to the freezing water to the point where I couldn't feel anything (except my hands) and caught up with Becca. We tried to wait to see what DeeAura and Nate were going to do, but they never seemed to appear and so we floated. And floated. And it was almost enjoyable - if I weren't so scared of dying and now facing the risk of also popping my tube and Becca still feeling the events of the previous hang-ups (no one could blame her... thinking for an entire group is entirely stressful).

When you are freezing, any small bump or crash is going to sting a bit. So when the river got shallower, and I didn't immediately pull myself up, my bum found a rather sharp rock and nearly took off half my cheek (yes, descriptive...sorry about that). I have a HUGE bruise and goose egg - if you can call it a goose egg when it is in that particular location - now. It hurts nearly every time I forget about it and sit down.

Finally, Becca and I decided that we would wait to see if Nate and DeeAura had continued the trek. We wondered if Nate ended up latching on to DeeAura's tube. Remembering the parts of the river that were shallow, I hoped he had not. Although, I couldn't help but wonder if the next Omni love match was in the making. Sharing a tube is quite a cozy position, and two people could certainly get to know each other really well, floating down the Provo river... How romantic!

Only, stopping to wait is not as easy as all of that. Remember, the river is coming from the mountains, meaning that it is dropping elevation at a fair rate, and in some parts narrower - which all increases the speed of the current and causes rapids, etc. So when I went to stand up in the middle of the river, and didn't grab onto my tube...well, let's just say I wished my tube a farewell and best of luck on its journey down the river and climbed, uneasily to the bank. When your limbs are recovering from all your blood going to protect your insides, it is mighty difficult to clamor to the bank. Not 10 minutes later, DeeAura joined us.

Of course, now I was tubeless. So I had set to walk down to the meeting place downriver. DeeAura joined me, and within 10 minutes, we came across some ruffians who were in fact, holding my tube hostage. After identifying the tube, I wrestled one of the fishermen, and retrieved my tube. DeeAura and I debated, and decided that we would not yet venture back into the freezing water - we were enjoying being warmed by the summer sun. We came across Nate not a few minutes later and continued walking down the railroad tracks.

It was at this point, DeeAura and Nate were able to dissuade me of all possibilities that a baby would be joining us in 9 months, despite the fact that they had indeed shared a tube for most of the journey before Nate decided to bail ship - as a particularly scary part of the river was coming up.

It was getting to that point - so I made him get off the tube. - DeeAura

While walking amongst the overgrown railroad tracks, among all the horse crap, we discovered that while this day had not gone exactly as planned - it was totally appropriate for Pioneer day, and remembering the men and women of the LDS church who were forced out of their lovely homes in Nauvoo and sent across the harsh and dangerous plains to Salt Lake City, Utah. We were having our struggles, too, that day. And we were grateful for the memories putting us in our place.

When Nate expressed sentiments along the lines of "you are slowing me down, and wasting a perfectly good trip down the river," DeeAura and I decided to get back in the water. We enjoyed the remainder of the trip, until we found Nate again - jumping from a rock into a deeper part of the river. He told us to stop, and not wanting to lose my tube again, I was reluctant to try again. However, try I did...and I only showed that I am no match for the Provo river. The rocks on the river are not particularly smooth, and my bloodied knees were evidence of that. DeeAura and I stood precariously in the middle of the river, unable to move against the current, and worried to keep going...

Eventually we just got back on our tubes and kept going down the river until we saw another member of our group. Realizing that if we didn't get out now, we would end up over the dam that we had seen on our way into the canyon (and consequently dead...and/or charged with a $50 fee for not wearing a life jacket) we again tried to stop. DeeAura ended up being pulled under the water, and I truly feared for her life. I, on the other hand, made my way to the edge, grabbed hold of a rock and pulled my way to the bank. It was all very well done of us (not) and graceful (doubly, not) but we didn't die.

I was quite proud. And ready to do it all again, now that I got the gist of it. Nevermind the fact that I am quite bruised from my elbows to my feet (my left foot is particularly bruised from something...)

When we finally got home, there was no rest for the weary... Becca and I were headed over to Nate and Jake's and then to the fireworks in Spanish Fork. These fireworks were particularly good - with a new type of firework I'd never seen that nearly blinded you and sounded as though someone next to you had been shot. They set off quite a few, and got us each time. DeeAura and my best friend, Alaina joined us - prepared, with a blanket.

Afterwards, the four of us (Becca, Nate, Jake and myself) headed to IHOP. Where we all couldn't help but notice that we might be a little more bold with our language and a little less naive than we all used to be. We wondered if it were to be blamed on the fact that we brought the worst out in each other. Or the fact that we were all aging, and yet still unmarried.

Must have something to do with the fact that I'm twenty-five and still a virgin! - Becca, practically yelling throughout the restaurant (it needn't be said that we were all speechless with laughter at this point).

The night ended - and I couldn't help but think that this had been by far the best Pioneer day I've ever spent in Utah.

But mostly because I didn't die. And it would have been so much better to hear that DeeAura and Nate hooked up...