Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Feminist that I'm Not

When I was hired to work at KMA, I was asked if I was easily offended. Of course, I said, "No." But what I really meant was "No." Because the types of things that it turns out could be offensive, are not. At all.

That's because I'm not a feminist.

You see, I work with a bunch of contractors and subcontractors. Which means, invariably, I work with a lot of men. Men are funny because they are casual and laid-back and low-key. And funny. They burp and talk about farting, but then again, so does my roommate. They like to talk about women. Whether so-and-so is hot in real life because her voice and her name totally are or who was on the cover of Victoria's Secret weekly e-mail. They also call me "beautiful" and "honey." (And sometimes Kevin calls me "Fingers" because of my amazing typing ability.) And I think some women would be offended by things like this. I don't understand it, really.

It has made me sit back and think of all the other non-feminist ideals I have. I love the idea of being a stay at home wife and mother. I don't mind sitting back and letting the head of the house preside over the family. I like when my home teachers come over and I can turn everything over to them. I loved being an FHE mom and turning the conducting over to Colin, as "head" of the family. I like the idea of a strong provider who goes to work while I cook and clean (and write, spend money, play with babies, etc.). I have never been one to oppose traditional gender roles.

I'm not against Stephenie Meyer because she wrote Bella a a co-dependent, weak-minded female that couldn't exist after Edward disappeared.

I don't resent guys who think that just because I'm female, I'm bad at math. I AM bad at math. I also can't find my way to save my life - and I'm a geography major. My sense of direction is just bad. I also love gossiping. I love to shop. I love chocolate. A perfect day is sitting in a bubble bath or getting a pedicure. I know more about Hollywood than sports. I don't get offended when I hear sexist jokes - even though I like to pretend that I am. If guys call girls "skanks" or "sluts" sometimes it's because I think they actually are.  For some reason derogatory statements aren't really that offensive to me - maybe they should be?

I do think that women deserve respect. And I am very much against the abuse of women. I don't think that the wife is property to be owned...though the whole ownership thing does have a sort of appeal to me. As long as the husband isn't infringing on his wife's agency and controlling EVERYTHING, then I don't mind a little domineering. Maybe that is too strong of a word, or maybe I don't really know what I'm saying because I'm not married/in a relationship. I know that God reveres us and has give us a very special role in this world. But I embrace that. I like to develop my creative, nurturing, homemaking skills. Still pretty much, I am your average female dip. And I don't care. I like it.

I like that God gave us men to balance us out. That's why I need a man who is good with money (and math), makes rational decisions, thinks about the future and isn't as impulsive as I am.

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