Friday, March 05, 2010

The Two-Way Stop

The above picture is abstract art. It is also a representation of the AWFUL experience that I have had repeatedly this week, that for the life of me I can’t understand. And on top of that, it is just one of those things that makes me IRATE.

Yup, I get irrationally mad whenever I find myself in the above situation. For those of you who did not take Art Appreciation 520, let me interpret for you.

Most of you may be able to tell that the depiction is that of a two-way stop. The strange colored houses and lack of nice landscaping along with the two-way stop may give you an idea that you are close to campus. The truth is, this particular depiction is that of 200 East, but it has and can happen regularly on other intersections around this area.

Because it is a two-way, Louise is happily waiting at the STOP sign. This is the law, and she (Louise being my car) and I don’t mind stopping for the law – well, most of the time we don’t mind it. And we don’t really mind waiting for the cars that do not have to stop as they continue to go on and on and on and on. Even though we are running late, and waiting is the very last thing we want to do.

So we’re waiting. I see a break up ahead, just after the teal car and there will be enough distance between her and the next car that I can scoot across and be on my way but then the teal car starts slowing down… and slowing and then she stops. STOPS. Even though, there is not stop sign. I’m baffled. And then I laugh. The ignorance. Doesn’t she know that there isn’t a STOP sign there? Well, I’ve made the mistake before...the sheepish little teal car will figure it out soon enough. Only, she isn’t going. And my mantra of, “C’mon. Go. Gooooo. GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!” Complete with hand gestures and the shudder of Louise’s own idleness isn’t convincing her to move any faster.

She sees the gestures and makes a face and then points. Of course she is pointing to the pedestrian, who must have been so confused at this backwards game of chicken that he decides to walk. Because what else is he going to do? Tealie obviously is going to be “considerate” and let him walk across. And what does that mean for me? I don’t know what to do. By law I’m required to wait for Tealie to drive across, but the pedestrian (represented by the brown and orange circles, in case you didn’t get that) is going the same way I am – so why shouldn’t I get to go if Tealie is going to be waiting and Louise can certainly move faster than lame-brain BYU student crossing the street.

I didn’t go earlier, and then I was even more irritated with Tealie. But when it happened today, I said, “This pisses me off,” (and I was talking to Mom….whoops) and drove across anyway. Because it really would be inefficient not to.

I would say that I feel sorrier for the cars that are behind cars like Tealie. But that isn’t the case. I feel sorry for myself. And I feel rage. Lots of rage. I wish Louise were more like a Power Ranger, and could transform into this monster vehicle and totally cream Tealie. Because they make me so mad.

*Disclaimer 1: Of course, this whole situated is diffused a bit when it is the pedestrian’s fault. Some pedestrians feel entitled to go whenever the heck they want. And if that is what causes the car to stop, and I have to wait for little Peter or Molly to get out of Tealie’s way, then I do not blame Tealie. Pedestrians have the right away, whether they deserve it or not.

**Disclaimer 2: If it were exceptionally cold or there was lighting or a tornado or blizzard or some other natural disaster…if the person looks like they are in general discomfort because they are about to poop their pants then maybe – MAYBE – I can see the other car giving the pedestrian the extra 5 seconds it would take to cross their path and let them cross… Maybe.

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