Saturday, March 20, 2010

Shattered Knees and other Ridiculous Things

I quickly went through my nighttime routine in order to get to bed as soon as possible, but I think that I have to record how ridiculous the last 5 minutes have been. Besides, it should also be noted that I got ready for bed in just about 5 minutes... which is quite a feat, as I am easily distracted. I was tempted to just skip washing my face and brushing my teeth, but luckily, I accomplished both.

First of all, I shattered both of my patellas tonight. You may not believe me, but I'm sure there is a hairline fracture somewhere in at least one of them. There is certainly swelling. And swelling means fluid. And ugly bruises. I thought that my knees would bleed, but they haven't because I didn't really break the skin. Just the bone... but that is what falling onto solid ice does to your bones. I mean, not to Olympians' bones - they must drink lots of milk. But when I got cocky, and started going way faster on my ice skates than I had any right to go, it was only a matter of time before I fell. I made it around once without incident - why did I have to be greedy and try for a second time at personal record-breaking speeds? I tried, and failed. And my knees have been throbbing ever since. Even with the Tylenol Becca gave me afterward.

Also... I pretty much need night vision goggles to get safely from one side of my room to the other. Not that my room is very big. And I shouldn't be admitting this, but the truth is, I need a pogo stick to get through my room. It hasn't been clean since.... well, since I moved in. But that's because I haven't really moved in yet. I still haven't figured out where I am putting all of my clothes, and so they have just sort of taken residence on ... yes, the floor. I know, It's bad. That is on the agenda for tomorrow. I mean today.

So, while hobbling through the small, magical path from my door to my bed, I realized that I am in big trouble because my bed is practically on stilts. It sits atop two cinder blocks and is high enough off the ground that I have to CLIMB onto it in order to sleep. Usually, this is not a problem. Tonight, my swollen kneecaps protested to the point where I was laughing at the pain. It hurts so much - is so uncomfortable - that it made me laugh. A really, really awkward, twisted sort of laugh. But not loud enough that the roommates could hear me. (Don't worry.) And once I climbed onto my bed, I was not going to risk climbing down, even though I know that my phone is still in the pocket of the pants that I wore tonight. I had wanted to set an alarm and wake up early enough that my day could be fairly productive... but if I get down, then I have to climb back up...and really, I don't think I can handle it. I know, I'm a wuss.

So here I lay, in my bed...and luckily my laptop was at a reachable distance. Typing, but too lazy to even look at the screen and freezing, but at least I put my blankets back on my bed this morning, instead of having to need to climb down in order to get the discarded covers.

If you need me in the morning - early afternoon - you should know that I will not get my phone. I probably won't hear it, and even if I do, I anticipate my knees swelling to the size of small melons and my muscles to be sore from ice skating...so the likelihood of me getting out of bead is "not very".

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