Miniature Croquet

A friend of ours was turned 25 today. Knowing how traumatic it was for me, I knew we had to do something special. Luckily, I didn't have to do any of the planning. After eating some delicious Thai food (pumpkin curry -- it's my new favorite thing), we headed over to the Provo Beach Resort.

I've heard some mention of it, but didn't know exactly what it was. It's like, a Boondocks, only, instead of go-karts and miniature golf, they have a hot tub and surfing area, a place where you have to move stealthily through lasers like they do in the movies, high-wire ropes and the like, and miniature croquet (see the video above).

Miniature croquet probably doesn't sound like it is too complicated, but get the birthday boy, his brother, Megan and me together, and we had a hard time figuring it out. We spent the first 20 minutes on the first "section", and the attendant even had to come over and make sure we weren't confused (we were, but didn't want him to know it). It was OK though. I'm not certain I got the point system right, and I'm sure I gave the birthday boy more than he was supposed to get in the first round. But that's no big deal. After getting the hang of things, we breezed through the other areas. My ball only got stuck in the bonus area once. None of us effectively used the "poison" rule, though, and that might have changed things up  a bit if we had.

Miniature croquet laced with confusion and innuendo is just as fun an activity as anything else I've tried.

I don't know if it's a very "manly" sport. Between the mandatory rule of hitting the ball with the mallet swinging through your legs, and not being able to hit the ball clear across...anywhere, it lacks a lot of luster that original croquet brings to the game.

I really hope that everyone else had fun, because I enjoyed it. Five "sections" for $6 is probably an OK price, although, I'm glad that we had the area basically to ourselves. If we had felt rushed, it wouldn't have been nearly as worth it.

Happy 25th, Kade! (What state am I thinking of, now?)

Drunken Racquetball

If you ever see two drunk people playing racquetball...

And you know they are drunk by the way they can't walk straight, how bad their hand-eye coordination is, how they miss every swing they take, how they hit the ball straight back into their face and then collapse in fits of laughter to the point where they can't stand anymore...

Think to yourself that they are not, perhaps, drunk at all. But rather playing with the racket in the other hand. Two lefties playing with their rackets in the right hand has the appearance of drunken behavior, but really... both girls are completely sober.

After all, how would they have ever made it through the hurricane-like, winter weather storm afterward if they were intoxicated?

Brad is a Stud!

My brother is a senior at Troy High School playing defensive back and back-up punter. Last night was the Game of the Week... and also the longest rivalry game in the GWOC (Greater Western Ohio Conference). Troy vs. Piqua is always a big deal, and I would have loved to be there.

From what I hear, it was a very exciting game. Everyone on Troy played well. Especially Brad. With 17 tackles, an interception that led to a touchdown and various other cool plays, he showed how talented he is on the field. This video shows him (number 21) doing his thing. The only thing they missed was him punting the ball and then tackling the guy who caught it. Excellent.

Basketball Try-Outs

I started playing basketball in third grade. Third grade is when Troy Junior Basketball, the city league allows you to start playing. Or at least, when my parents discovered the league. In any rate, it's when I started playing. I grew up around basketball. My dad played for church and with his brothers and pretty much any opportunity he got. He coached the young men's basketball team. My mom also played for church. Saturdays during basketball season were especially busy, one game after the next at the stake center.

When I turned 12 and was allowed to play on the young women's team, I happily played both on the city league and for church. It was really fun that year. Our young women's team was good. There were so many of us that wanted to play, we had to have two teams. That also meant that we got to play games on Saturday, and legit scrimmages during the week for practice. We had pink jerseys. It was so great!

When I started junior high, I wanted to play for school. My dad played for school. My cousins played for school. I was going to play. But there were a few things to worry about.

In Troy, fifth and sixth graders can be put on the "traveling team." The team gets to travel around and play different teams of the same age in different cities, rather than just remaining in Troy playing against the other Troy girls. You also had to be recruited or try out for the traveling team. But this team always played their games on Sunday. I'm sure that I wasn't good enough to play on the team, anyway, but the fact that they played on Sunday ensured that I didn't even try. But it was usually those girls that got positions on the school teams. It also allowed the different girls from different elementary schools to bond and become friends, long before I had a chance.

Not only that, but Troy offers basketball camps during the summer. I never participated in these. I am sure it was partially because I was the oldest, and my parents didn't know much about them, and partially because we were poor and couldn't afford the fees. (I wore boy's Wal Mart basketball shoes because they were cheaper.)

So, I wasn't on the traveling team and I didn't attend the camps. Those two things combined made it a losing situation when I walked into the gym after school for try-outs. But that wasn't the only thing that hurt me. Basketball season was really the only activity I participated in once it turned cold. I rode my bike and went to the swimming pool everyday during the summer, but for the most part, I was a chunky little kid with zero running ability. I'd half-walked every mile I had to run in gym, and I was incredibly slow. I loved basketball, but I was mediocre.

The first day of try-outs must have been meant to weed out the kids that didn't belong. And before the second drill, I was convinced that I was one of those people. The girls that had been on the traveling team also happened to be the prettiest, smartest - soon to be most popular - girls in the school (in my eyes). The coaches knew them. And I was convinced I would never make the team.

And I was dying.

They had us run! so much during the first day of try-outs, that I was sure I was going to pass out. Why didn't they ask to see our defensive skills? Why didn't they ask us to do lay-ups? I don't know. But they didn't. Instead they made us run. I was slow, and I was last. And I was embarrassed. So in the middle of suicides, long before try-outs were even over, I reached the end of the court, and I ran right out the door. I didn't look back to see the reaction of the coaches, I prayed that they wouldn't even notice. And then I hid until my mom came to pick me up.

I can't remember if I cried or not, but I wouldn't be surprised. I was an overly-emotional teenager. I told my mom that I would not be going back the next day, and she didn't make me.

To this day I wonder what would have happened if I had just stuck it through. Would I have made the team? I'm sure I would have sat the bench. There were so many talented basketball players in my grade. But if I had made the team, maybe I would have had a chance to get better. I definitely would have been in better shape during school with all the running and the eventual weight lifting they have the athletes participate in. It's probably my biggest regret from school.

And yet, I haven't learned. When I am in an embarrassing situation, my first reaction is to flee. Even if the greater good means to stay put and get through it.

In Ute Country

I had the opportunity to cross enemy lines today and see how things are done in the heathen country up north. The Utes are brutal. It doesn't matter that the BYU vs Utah game isn't until November, the Utes take every chance they get to berate and condemn BYU.

Like harassing the city cops who are directing traffic, simply because they are wearing blue.

Scenes like this were not uncommon. At the tailgate party we attended before the game, I head of a story about a guy bringing a stuffed cougar (toy) and pulling it on a string while the tailgaters spit on it and threw things on it, stomped on it and then, ultimately, it wound up being set on fire.

That's probably not the greatest idea, simply because it was probably a lot of intoxicated over-zealous fans playing with fire. I don't think I've seen so many people drinking in Utah at one time until today. Even I had to join in on the fun! KIDDING. (Gosh, Mom and Dad!) The brats were soaked in beer, though. Anyway...

The point is that the entire stadium was full of people ecstatic every time the announcer game an update on the BYU vs. Airforce game (BYU lost...badly). I'm trying to remember if BYU does that at their games when the Utes are losing. Do the Utes lose? I think they're pretty good...moving on. Also, while walking back to the car, you would hear random outburst of "BYU SUCKS!" and accompanying cheers. It was ridiculous, in a hilarious sort of way.

The game was fun. And hot! We were on the side of the stadium where the sun was hitting us for the entirety of the game. The other side of the stadium, I am pretty sure, were all shivering to death. But whatever... I'm burnt on the half side of my face. And I'm almost positive my eyeballs are sunburned, too.

We did have good seats, though, despite the sun. They were really accessible, and we didn't have a hard time getting out - of course, that may have to do with the fact that half the spectators left before the game was over because Utah was trouncing UNLV... it wasn't much of a game. It would have been worse if U of U had actually played well... Whatever. The score was 38 to 10. As I said, not much of a game.

Now... this gentleman - yes, the one with the cane and KFC beard - was just your stereotypical University of Utah fan. Showering his neighbor (with what I assume is spittle) he would remind the defense to "CREAM THE KICKER!" and encourage the fans to "MURDER THE UMPS!"

Now, I'm all for a good quarterback sack - and we got a few, thanks to Old McDonald, I think - but MURDERING is a little bit out of control at a football game. Or maybe that's just how our brothers from the North roll...

This guy heard that I might be a graduate from BYU, and this is what I got...

A half-bird

Now, I was wearing the typical Red/Black/White combination seen on 99% of the Utah fans. But don't worry... I am not that much of a traitor. I may not have school spirit for BYU, but I do know who the real winners are!

No one seemed to notice that I wasn't wearing Utah attire.

 Go BUCKS!

I had Brad updating me on the game the whole time.

Shattered Knees and other Ridiculous Things

I quickly went through my nighttime routine in order to get to bed as soon as possible, but I think that I have to record how ridiculous the last 5 minutes have been. Besides, it should also be noted that I got ready for bed in just about 5 minutes... which is quite a feat, as I am easily distracted. I was tempted to just skip washing my face and brushing my teeth, but luckily, I accomplished both.

First of all, I shattered both of my patellas tonight. You may not believe me, but I'm sure there is a hairline fracture somewhere in at least one of them. There is certainly swelling. And swelling means fluid. And ugly bruises. I thought that my knees would bleed, but they haven't because I didn't really break the skin. Just the bone... but that is what falling onto solid ice does to your bones. I mean, not to Olympians' bones - they must drink lots of milk. But when I got cocky, and started going way faster on my ice skates than I had any right to go, it was only a matter of time before I fell. I made it around once without incident - why did I have to be greedy and try for a second time at personal record-breaking speeds? I tried, and failed. And my knees have been throbbing ever since. Even with the Tylenol Becca gave me afterward.

Also... I pretty much need night vision goggles to get safely from one side of my room to the other. Not that my room is very big. And I shouldn't be admitting this, but the truth is, I need a pogo stick to get through my room. It hasn't been clean since.... well, since I moved in. But that's because I haven't really moved in yet. I still haven't figured out where I am putting all of my clothes, and so they have just sort of taken residence on ... yes, the floor. I know, It's bad. That is on the agenda for tomorrow. I mean today.

So, while hobbling through the small, magical path from my door to my bed, I realized that I am in big trouble because my bed is practically on stilts. It sits atop two cinder blocks and is high enough off the ground that I have to CLIMB onto it in order to sleep. Usually, this is not a problem. Tonight, my swollen kneecaps protested to the point where I was laughing at the pain. It hurts so much - is so uncomfortable - that it made me laugh. A really, really awkward, twisted sort of laugh. But not loud enough that the roommates could hear me. (Don't worry.) And once I climbed onto my bed, I was not going to risk climbing down, even though I know that my phone is still in the pocket of the pants that I wore tonight. I had wanted to set an alarm and wake up early enough that my day could be fairly productive... but if I get down, then I have to climb back up...and really, I don't think I can handle it. I know, I'm a wuss.

So here I lay, in my bed...and luckily my laptop was at a reachable distance. Typing, but too lazy to even look at the screen and freezing, but at least I put my blankets back on my bed this morning, instead of having to need to climb down in order to get the discarded covers.

If you need me in the morning - early afternoon - you should know that I will not get my phone. I probably won't hear it, and even if I do, I anticipate my knees swelling to the size of small melons and my muscles to be sore from ice skating...so the likelihood of me getting out of bead is "not very".

Aztec Anscestors Wrote the Book of Mormon

The title comes from the most creative sign/poster I saw at the BYU basketball game last night. We were playing the San Diego State Aztecs... and we pretty much crushed them. Which considering our Church ball-like strategy of playing, I was shocked. It was probably the ugliest college game I've ever watched. No one seemed to have control of the ball. Every time we ran the ball down the court - there was no setting up for plays, it was just fast break after fast break. And shooting - from where ever you were whenever you got the ball. Trust me, there were a lot more misses than there were points. BYU also was not very good about rebounding and they missed a lot of easy lay-ups. I'm still astounded that we won, actually.

Other observations from the game:

The man in front of me smelled. I don't know what it is about older people. I know bones get achy, and your muscles atrophy because you only eat circus peanuts, nuts and doughnuts. And you sit in front of the TV or whatever... but really? That's no excuse not to shower. Every time this guy lifted his hat to scratch his head - which was frequently - the smell only doubled and I couldn't help but think that if he had showered, he probably wouldn't itch so bad. The seats in the Marriott Center are pretty close together and so whenever he moved, he would brush against my leg. By the end of the game, or rather the time I finally couldn't take it anymore and moved my seat, I was ready for a chemical shower at the hospital and had a horrible headache.

Brainwashing at BYU starts young. I knew this, of course, one only has to look at my friend Meghan's nephew to know. (He's, what, two? and can practically sing the BYU fight song and definitely say GO COUGARS! and has all the gear...) Kids are EVERYWHERE at the basketball game. And usually accompanied by their very pregnant mothers. Which got me thinking - what do you think is the percentage of women at BYU who go into labor while at a BYU sporting event? I bet it happens more than we think.

When BYU scores 80 points, one of the local restaurants gives away free chocolate cake. BYU was ahead of the Aztecs for the whole game and so while we knew we would win, a lot of people (especially the teenage boys a few rows above us) were interested in making sure we would all get that cake. They were shouting "We want cake!" for the final two minutes of the game...because BYU was stuck on 79 points. They could have easily remained that way until the clock ran out. Luckily for all of us, they scored one more basket in the final 45 seconds. Exciting!

Finally. Texting a blog post is not such a good idea. Turns out that when you type 990 characters and then scroll up to make sure you have the right picture attached, it's just not worth it when you LOSE everything. It takes a long time to type a little under 1000 characters.

So for my first - and probably last - BYU basketball game of my school career, the game was fun. Thanks, Keith for the tickets!

Bowling at ISU

If you are planning on bowling at Idaho State University, there are a couple of things to remember.

1. Don't expecct "customer service." The desk clerk will text on her phone, ignore the majority of your questions and only vaguely tell you about the scoring problems that are a product of the unnecessary smoke machine. Also - she wants to leave early. So even though she told you that the alley closes at midnight, it is really still open until 1 a.m. on the weekends.
2. Brush up your skills on how to score a game of bowling. As mentioned above, the smoke doesn't only make the bowling alley creepy, it also screws with the lasers that help keep score. If you want your strike to count, you better know how to add the next two balls your bowl to your score and then what to do on the next frame. They provide scoring sheets at the desk - if you can get the attendant to spare a pencil, you are doubly lucky.
3. The juke box is expensive, but it has A LOT to choose from. However, you have to be very careful about who you let choose the songs, and make sure you confirm which song you think you picked - otherwise there is a lot of weird stuff coming out.
4. The neon balls look really cool in the black lights. Also, they are better than those offered at Troy Bowl.
5. The ball return is ridculously close to the lane. So if you need a little bit of extra space - too bad. Also, hitting the pins on the right side of the lane is nearly impossible on the second turn. So make sure you take them out first. Aiming is equally impossible.
6. CASH or CHECK only. Remember to write your student ID number on the check. (Honestly - who doesn't take credit cards now a days? Why don't they just invest in an iPhone and then they can download that app that will let them accept credit cards...**)

All of that remembered, you are prepared to have fun.

I certainly did. Even though, I am convinced that if ever I were to break a bone, it would be while bowling. My left middle finger always feels as though it is going to be ripped off before the end of the game. On a left-handed ball, the top right side hole will be deeper than the left side hole and visa-versa for right-handed balls. Unfortunately, no one offers left-handed balls and the curve of the right-hand versus left-hand really hurts! Do I sound like a baby? Well...I just want to see you right-handed people bowl with a left-handed ball and see what happens.

Anyway, the poor design of the ISU bowling alley coupled with the right-handed ball really hurt my second game. I bowled a 55. I'm fairly certain that is a personal low. The good news is that my first game started out immediately with a strike and had two or three after that (one double and maybe a fourth) along with some spares and otherwise high rolls. My goal is always to break 100, and I did a little bit better than that and got 115. I was still the loser...but whatever.

I like bowling.

Tennis with Lauren

Typically, when I try something that I am not good at or something that is hard, I am in the habit of giving up. I just like to be successful. I like to be an "expert" at what I am doing. For instance, I am an expert at reading. Not that I read classics or profound literature...but I like it, and I am good at it. So I read. I am an expert at sleeping. I can sleep whenever, wherever etc. So I typically sleep from 3am-10am or something like such as. And maybe throw in a nap outside or something.

But I am not good at tennis.

I recognize this but it doesn't stop me from enjoying it so much. It's almost as if one good return or one good point is enough to make it not matter that I lose every game, set and match against my opponent. Who happens to Lauren Eckern. Who happens to be one of my good, good good friends. It doesn't seem to matter that she is more skilled with the racket, she continues to play with me. And even though I am no challenge to her, she still seems to have a good time beating me enough to play again instead of finding someone who will put more pressure on her.

Although, I have to put my excuses on here for just a second. Once those groundskeepers showed up, it was very distracting. Not that Harry, Scratchy and Baby were attractive or distractions like that (trust me, Lauren and I have run into legitimate distractions by way of half-naked soccer players... try serving with that in your line of vision!) - rather, it was just the fact that they were there watching us play. Terribly. Lauren sucked it up and played with the sun in her eyes the whole time. I think it was so that she could use at as an excuse when I did actually win. And so that she wouldn't crush me worse than she did.

I can't wait until we play again next week!

Weekend Sports

I love being home when my brothers and sister are involved in all their many sports activities. Obviously, I miss a lot of games living so far away, so it is nice to be able to catch a scrimmage or game - and in the case of this weekend, both.

Friday night we went to the Troy Memorial Stadium and watched Brad's football scrimmage. He is playing varsity this year, and it will be fun for everyone to go and be part of that atmosphere. I admit, I wasn't much into watching my own football team when I was in high school. I enjoyed the football games throughout my elementary and jr. high days, but high school was another story. First of all, when I was in grade school, the Troy football team was good. We had Ryan Brewer and he was amazing... that's all I really remember. That, and Jessica and me throwing Gobstoppers at William Harrelson's head. After the younger, innocent years, I remember learning devastating things about my best friend, and then leaving a football game in tears. I never did go back, except one final game senior year. We were rained out - lightning - and so it wasn't all that great. ANYWAY, the point is this. With Bradley on the field, the games are bound to be more exciting. First with someone to actually cheer for, second because Brad is fun to watch (even if he doesn't exactly know what he is doing all the time) and third, because the atmosphere of the football games are really exciting. There's the chill in the air, the beat of the marching band, the Friday night lights. I'm jealous. I think it will be really great to watch Brad every Friday. Let's just hope the team doesn't suck, again, this year.


Saturday was Mackenzie's soccer game. I've never been a soccer fan... (On the off chance that Courtney is going to read this, I end there.) Anyway, it was really fun to watch Mackenzie play, even if frustrating beyond all reason. These girls have been playing together for a while, and they still don't understand how to pass, how to kick towards a team member. It's as if they don't know how to aim at all. Then there's the minor problem that there seems to be a force field around the goal, and so they have an impossible time getting the ball anywhere near it. In fact, they spend most of the game playing defense. Their one goal was scored by what looked like the, uh, biggest girl on the team - and yet, she was the only one that really seemed to hustle and be in the game to win. Amy and I kept crying for BLOOD, SWEAT, and if we were lucky tears. But to no avail. Apparently these girls are pansies.


And then last night, we went as a family (sans Mark...it's always sans Mark) to bowl. Now, bowling is a sport that I could get into. Of course, it's nearly impossible with the fact that ALL the balls are made for right-handed people. Which is, of course, ridiculous. The right-handed balls nearly break off my fingers! I did not bowl well. In fact, for the first time ever, I think I lost! I hate losing. I average a shabby 95-120. My record being 135...I think, and this time I got an 81. BOOOO! I blame the balls. Besides being right-handed, they were all too heavy. I tried to bowl right-handed, and barely managed to pick the ball up in my right hand. (Guess I need to work my right arm out a bit more...) All the lighter balls must have been hidden away or used by the other kids at the alley. I won't mention the fact that we also had bumpers on our land, and still managed to suck.

Our family went out to dinner to a favorite, Friendly's. It is simply the most delicious ice cream, and very Midwest. Even though I've lived in Provo for five years - the ice cream capital of the U.S. - I still crave Friendly's. The shabby joint, that smells like an old person's house and plays music from the 50s, has the best ice cream sundaes in the world. I strayed from my original cookie dough ice cream with peanut butter and hot fudge and tried their pistachio ice cream. Delicious.

To top the whole weekend off, it has been perfect Midwest, end-of-the-summer weather, with rain and cool breezes. Almost chilly and absolutely lovely. It gets me in mind for chili and football games. I love it.