Friday, September 23, 2011

Ants on a Log

I remember snack time in pre-school. Once I got in trouble for slurping my soup. Once we ate green eggs and ham. I remember eating mostly everything they put in front of me... until this.

Ants on a log.

It's supposed to be more appetizing to kids when you give healthy food a fun name. I took a bite, and I wanted to spit it back out immediately. So while all the other kids devoured their logs and picked off their ants, I ate the ants, licked out the peanut butter and left the celery behind.

I hate celery. I don't like it in anything. It ruins the tastes of salads. It is gross in soups. The only celery I don't really mind, is celery salt. And I'm pretty sure that doesn't count. However, I used to feel the same way about lasagna and avocados. And since I love both of those things now, I every once and a while feel like I need to give celery another chance.

And I always want to spit it out.

It's a good thing celery is cheap. Because I bought a thing of it last night, thinking I needed something green for the day. I washed it carefully, making sure I did not have any traces of dirt. I smelled it (and turned up my nose) and then I decided to try the old ants on a log, and I grabbed the peanut butter.

It took everything in me to not just lick out the peanut butter. I finished almost a whole one of these --->
but I couldn't do it. I just don't like it!

Sorry celery. You nasty.


P.S:
HAHAHA... oh my goodness. You won't believe what I just discovered about celery. I stole the picture from the website and decided to read it after I finished typing this up. It doesn't change how I feel about the vegetable, though.


I hope you had a wonderful weekend!
It is no secret that one of my favorite foods that I often tout is our humble, common friend: Celery. When people tell me they thought it was “just full of water,” it gives me the perfect lead-in to say, “No, no, no!” Celery is high in potassium, a necessary electrolyte which helps with cellular cleansing and fluid levels, and since it is a natural diuretic, helps keep blood pressure normal. It also has Vitamin C. Ha! But you’ve heard about me talk about all that stuff before! You want to know about the Viagra mention!!
Well in my quest to reduce the alarming amount of medications and drugs that proliferate across the Western world, I thought I would take a little stab at the increasingly popular Viagra. It is still a drug, it still has lots of side affects and dangers (possibly affecting vision, causing heart attacks, etc.) and it still compromises our liver- as all medications do.
According to an exhaustive study of purported aphrodisiac foods, celery is the “sexiest” substance on Earth. It has a combination of Vitamin E, magnesium, niacin, potassium and zinc, which are all required for optimum sex. Celery also contains arginine, which is an amino acid that expands blood vessels the way Viagra is supposed to do. And while we are on this topic, I might point out that arginine also  increases blood flow to the um, female genitalia when ladies consume celery, making the female genitalia more responsive. Viagra ‘aint doing that!!
Lastly, celery has an aroma which contains the two steroids called androsterone and adrostenol. Research has shown that when we ingest celery, the subtle odor of these two natural chemicals travels through our bodies and works to attract the opposite sex. Single? Trying to get a date? You might just want to eat a few celery stalks before you head out on the town. And my friends that have been consuming my celery-containing Glowing Green Smoothie- you might just want to offer some to your spouse, girl/boy friend, and see what that does for them! :)
4 Stalks a day keeps Viagra away!
Of course, celery does relax the muscles that regulate blood pressure, and improves blood flow. This also helps with our beauty needs, like helping to reduce undereye circles which indicate stagnant blood and adrenal exhaustion.
So yes, Viagra is just one more unnecessary drug that we probably can do without in many cases, especially when we have celery!!
Have a great start to your week.
xx Kimberly

1 comment:

  1. I hate to break it to you, but I have made food with celery included in it in rather large quantities that you thought tasted good. FYI. (Or maybe you were just lying to be polite ...)

    ReplyDelete

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