Saturday, April 23, 2011

Graduation Regrets

A lot of my friends, and some of my facebook friends (which is sad that they are categorized differently) graduated this spring. That means that a lot of pictures of graduation have popped up and I have clicked through everyone with their family and friends as they proudly display their cap and gown and tassel.

In August, I graduated and I chose not to walk. I still don't regret not sitting through commencement and listening to long speeches about things that probably don't apply to me...

But I do regret not having those pictures.

Of course, after a minute of feeling bad because I don't have the pictures, I realize that 1) I didn't have any friends that graduated with me. Because I didn't have any friends in my program. It took way too long for me to graduate, and by the time I was done, the few friends that I had made along the way had either graduated already or they were on a mission. And 2) I don't know who of my family would have been around to proudly stand next to the newest college grad. My parents definitely wouldn't have been there, not my siblings, and how can I ask aunts and uncles and grandparents to sit through a long ceremony? I couldn't get up the excitement to do it for myself.

Anyway, I do regret not having the pictures. I do not regret not going. I went to my high school graduation, and after my "best" friend had bailed on me, I sat next to a girl that I didn't know well, and had a perfectly miserable time. I didn't have a lot of pictures taken then, either. I didn't want to repeat the whole process. The big difference was, I did have grandparents and parents and siblings who came to support me.

So that isn't really even the major graduation regret that I have. I look at my friend Colin, who really did the whole college experience the right way. I mean, he did the resume-padding, internships, work-on-campus, have relationships with your professors, volunteer work, etc. etc.

I did none of that.

That's probably the huge difference and the reason why he has gotten a job in Arizona, in his field, no less, and I am still in Provo... not even close to geography.

As much as I love geography - and I really, really REALLY love geography - sometimes, I think how much better it would have been if I had thought to be an English major, or stayed in graphic design, or actually worked towards the teaching program.

I should have done a great many of things when I was at BYU, and I definitely have regrets about it. I guess it makes sense that those would last up until the very end.

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