Thursday, April 07, 2011

You know that feeling?

You know that feeling when someone walks in to the building and his presence just seems to loom over you, even when he is in a completely different room - but definitely, when he is standing right over your shoulder?

You know that feeling that starts in your guts - it feels like your stomach is plummeting over and over and over again, as if there were depths in there that you had no idea existed, but it isn't really an uncomfortable feeling... in fact, even coupled with a slightly accelerated - or racing, whatever - heart, it's not altogether a bad feeling at all.

You know that feeling of quiet, unadulterated shock that sends a pool of blood straight to your cheeks when someone says something you weren't ever expecting?

Oh! I wish I could have turned that shock into something witty and great, but I never can. I just sit there and grin like an idiot - no responses, no quips... no looks. I don't know how to respond to this kind of teasing.

Especially when it is in front of my boss.

But even after the embarrassment, the nervousness and intimidation, I can't help but smile. Because, after all, it's that feeling. The one that suggests something could happen if you let it. The one that places all your fears at the edge of the cliff, waiting for you to just push them out of the way.

And it's been a while since I felt it.

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