Tuesday, January 05, 2010

Disgruntled, Mom?


It seems that my previous post was found offensive. So I guess I should explain, a little bit.

The question, though, is how do you explain things like this? The fact of the matter is that Mormon boys are pansies. Like in everything, there are exceptions to the rules but for all intensive purposes, it's pretty much the norm around here. Don't get me wrong. Mormon guys have a lot going for them. They're taught to be hard workers, ambitious, they hold the Priesthood, they serve others, they love the Lord, they love their family. They are still men... (Again, exceptions to the rules are found.)

BUT - if you look through the last couple of General Conferences or Pristhood Sessions, CES firesides, Stake Conferences, etc. you will find a rising trend in the topic of: dating. Not marriage like found in the past, but actual DATING. Dating because Mormon guys don't date (this is the last time, I am going to point out that I am talking in generals here). They are either too chicken or too cheap or too lazy to ask girls out. They hang out. They flirt, sometimes. But they don't date.

The reason I posted the letter earlier is because various friends and I have seen something of a pattern as of late. We watch movies, or hear the stories of our non-member friends or just watch people and see that non-member guys (aka Gentile Boys) are a lot more smooth. They are more forward. They are willing to put themselves out there and take a chance. And yes, normally it is because they want to "score" with a girl. But still, they get great practice in the arts of romancing a woman. They practice with foreplay - not sexual foreplay! - but the flirting and the teasing and the kissing...and they get really good at it.

Mormon boys don't do any of this. Because they already know that they aren't going to "score" because either they don't want to (for their own moral grounds) or they know they can't (for our moral grounds). We all want temple marriages - I WANT a temple marriage...so I'm not saying that we should go out and do things to jeopardize that. But then they  fall into the "friend zone" and try to go from there, and what's left is a combination of really awkward couples that lack the passion and romance. And I think it is because of a general lack of practice. And laziness. And not wanting to cross any boundaries - which is respectable, but still annoying sometimes. Because you can have fun without crossing boundaries.

Women (ok, SOME women) like to be pushed against the wall and kissed. Like, really like it. What? I'm just saying...Some girls like to be teased and flirted with and taken care of and as I said, "wined and dined" and we know that it's because guys want something. And we want things too. That's just how it is. If you want a guy who knows how to approach a complete stranger and talk about religion or move you to a new house or you want fashion advice on jean shorts with socks and sandals, then you look to a Mormon Boy. But if you are looking for romance and passion advice, go to the Gentile Boy...and then just tone it down a bit to fit within your moral standards.

That's all I'm saying.


  1. gosh dangit, i want to be pushed up against a wall and kissed! ha ha ha man, the drawbacks of going to Germany seem huge when you put it like that.

  2. I am now an official follower of your blog! Woot. Again, woot.

  3. Shelli, I am not a mormon or a guy (I found your blog a few months ago), but this is your BEST post ever! All guys need to hear this stuff! Flirting and dating and romance is a SKILL. Sure, you want to be friends with the person you marry, but you also want the passion, which comes from not being afraid to put yourself out there.

  4. Oh Shelli, I could have a hay-day with this. We'll have to chat about this sometime.

  5. We saw a clip of an old black and white movie called "Camille" ironically and the guy grabbed ahold of the heroine by the shoulders, quite fiercely, and then spoke very dramatically into her face. I was aroused.


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